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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

GLOBAL WARMING IS INCREASING DAY BY DAY. WHAT EFFECTS DOES THIS PHENOMENON CAUSES ? WHAT ARE THE SOLUTION

#effects #phenomenon
In
this
 contemporary era, most
people
 there have devised for convenience.
In addition
, there has been a rise in consumer and industries nowadays.
Thus
,
this
 is the main effect of climate
change
. I will outline the causes and the solution below. There are many reasons to
change
 the weather in the world.
Firstly
, from my knowledge, global warming
incutding
Correct your spelling
including
 heatwaves, droughts, and intense storms that caused mainly incomplete combustion.
For instance
, incomplete combustion in engines. It can be seen that, at the moment, many
people
 use individual cars, which
also
 affects the amount of exhaust gas. That resulted in a hotter wheater from
carbon
 dioxide and
carbon
 monoxide.
In addition
, another cause might have occurred from landfills, which have mainly found highly formed methane, which can transfer onto the present form of
carbon
 dioxide if it isn't managed well. Lately, the wasteful use of energy has
also
making
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 hotter
wheater
Correct your spelling
weather
show examples
.
However
, solving global warming needs help from
people
 around the world and the country's government. The governments should hold a meeting on solutions to climate
change
. Meanwhile, it should be strictly legal for
people
 to follow that. It might be helpful to reduce global warming.
For example
, with increased oil,
people
 use individual cars, which means they can
also
 minimise exhaust gas.
Secondly
, to solve the hotter atmosphere, the government should survey sanitary landfills to prevent methane escape from landfills. In conclusion, from the above essay, they can reduce global warming by
carbon
 dioxide, and if they have to pay attention to facilitating climate
change
, they are beneficial.
Submitted by suchanya3105 on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and outline the main points. Each body paragraph should focus on a single idea, supported by examples or evidence. The conclusion should summarise your arguments and restate your position.
Content
Avoid overly broad statements without specific examples. When discussing causes and solutions for global warming, provide concrete examples or data to support your claims. This will make your arguments more convincing and your essay stronger.
Grammar & Style
Work on sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and coherence. Vary your sentence length and structure to make your writing more engaging. Also, pay attention to punctuation and appropriate transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
Relevance
While discussing solutions to global warming, ensure that your ideas are practical and realistically achievable. It would also help if your solutions directly addressed the causes mentioned in the essay.
Repetition
Try to avoid repetition of ideas and phrases. Instead, expand on your points with new information or by exploring the implications of your arguments. This will make your essay more informative and interesting to read.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • greenhouse gases
  • renewable energy
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • heatwaves
  • droughts
  • coastal communities
  • methane
  • nitrous oxide
  • sustainable agriculture
  • global cooperation
  • environmental policies
  • conservation
  • sustainable living
  • habitat
What to do next:
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