It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
People punish their children in different ways. Childhood is really important for them to know what can be done and what cannot be done. In
this
essay, I will explain why I disagree with this
phenomenon.
Firstly
, everyone has already done something wrong while
being a child. But the way our parents punished us has been a part of our education
. People who are hit for punishment
can reflect violence in the kid’s memory. For example
, children who have a hard time at home with their parents will have more chances to fight at school with other students.
Moreover
, punishment
is part of education
.But the way that people decide to do it, is going to result in his mind. It is said that crimes are committed by a population who come from a hard past with no education
. Parents or teachers should use verbal punishment
at first,
or remove something important for them , like the mobile phone or time on the television.
In conclusion, children need to make mistakes to know what is right and what is wrong but adults are here to explain and show them how to do it better. There are no better ways for education
, everyone is different. But I believe punishment
can be done with communication.Submitted by Andrea Barreto on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Introduction and conclusion are present, but elaborating more on the points can strengthen the structure further.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices (e.g., firstly, moreover, in conclusion) effectively to guide the reader through your argument. Your use of such devices is appropriate, but varying your language can enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed examples or explanations. More specific examples and further elaboration on your points will improve your essay.
task achievement
Carefully address all parts of the task. Provide a more detailed discussion on the extent to which you agree or disagree and elaborate more on the types of punishment that should be used.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are comprehensive and clear. Expanding on your points and providing more details can help clarify your argument to the reader.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support your argument. Your examples are relevant, but providing more descriptive and specific instances could enhance your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite