IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to solve global environmental problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel
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Nowadays,
people
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 use a
lot
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 of
fuel
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, because of the large number of cars, the impact of
fuel
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 on the environment is very strong, but despite
this
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,
people
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 continue to pollute the environment. Currently, various solutions are being considered by the government to prevent
this
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, an example of
this
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 is the increase in
fuel
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. On the one hand,
people
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 are consuming a
lot
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 of
fuel
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, but they don't think that it has a negative effect on our country, and
this
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 is the basis for increasing
fuel
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 consumption, which is related to the destruction of the ozone layer in the atmosphere and the rise of various
smokes
Change the wording
clouds of smoke
show examples
 into the air. It doesn't matter because there are a
lot
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 of poor
people
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 in our country,
besides
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, they need to go to the hospital. If the residents whose houses are far away want to ride on the street and ask for a shared price when they want to hail a taxi, it will be very difficult for the
people
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's lifestyle and cause a shortage of
people
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.
On the other hand
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, what can cause
people
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 to use so much
fuel
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? An example of them is the smoke coming out of different types of industrial equipment, and there are a
lot
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 of cars in our capital, so the knots
also
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 cause the release of various wastes from the human body and nature, which affects the animal world and the plant world.
In addition
Linking Words
, the bacteria that appear in the atmosphere have a negative effect on human life, which is a danger to the lives of our young
people
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 and our elder grandparents. we will contribute to its recovery My conclusion
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 dear
people
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, let us contribute to our lifestyle and environmental health and save our country from various calamities, in our own hands.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
Structure your essay more clearly with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and transition smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences to start each paragraph, indicating the main idea of that paragraph. Support these ideas with specific examples or reasons.
task achievement
Directly address the essay prompt in your introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinion on the issue.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively by explaining how and why raising fuel prices can or cannot solve environmental problems. Include more specific examples or data to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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