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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Degrees Granted at the National University.

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Degrees Granted at the National University.
#show #degrees #fields #university #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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Three
Correct article usage
The three
show examples
 charts above denote the
percentage
Use synonyms
 in different fields at the National University in every decade from 1990 until 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 has experienced a rise,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 business slumped
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
year
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
medicinie
Correct your spelling
medicine
medicines
 and
law
Use synonyms
 have experienced a
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 and a slump in every decade.
Computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
raised
Add a missing verb
is raised
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
year
Use synonyms
. In 1990, the value of
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 20%, and
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 was added
20
Change preposition
to 20
show examples
% in 2000 so it has become 40%,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms
,
computer
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
possessed 48%, and it became the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in every field and in every
year
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, business degenerated from the
year
Use synonyms
 of 1990 to 2010. In 1990,
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
has become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in that time with 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, in 2000, it decreased
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 10%, and it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 20%, and in 2010, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 was only 15%. There were two fields that were increasing and decreasing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
year
Use synonyms
 namely medicine and
law
Use synonyms
. In 1990, medicine had 25%, and in 2000, it increased 5%, and it decreased again 5% in 2010 so that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2010 was similar to 1990.
Use synonyms
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of
law
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
tantamount to in 1990 and 2010
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was 15%, and in 2000, the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
only
Add a missing verb
was only
show examples
 10%.
Submitted by fifi on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, computer, science, year, law with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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