Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Computers play a very important role in modern life. Almost all the generations are using systems each day. It is often believed that the use of computers has both negative and positive effects on human survival.
However
, in my opinion, this
may bring some serious consequences. In this
essay, we discuss the dark impacts of the electronic machines on mankind.
In the modern era, Computers are involved in every aspect of the human race. with the recent growth of technology, several health-related problems are highrocketed mostly among high school students. Due to
these systems, problems like eyesight, spinal trouble, and mental stress have increased recently. For example
, I read an article last
year, that states almost twice the younger generations are affected with visual problems when compared to older generations, because
of Correct word choice
and because
this
students are wearing glasses.
Apart from well-being, there are some serious impacts of technology on the population. Recently, In the form of mobile devices, everyone has a portable computer. with the help of the internet, the newer society is addicted to some age-restricted content which may spoil their career. Due to
some social media applications, and trying to replicate the experiments that were performed in those videos, many lost their lives. For example
, last
year 2500 deaths, and many more injuries were recorded trying to make YouTube content, performing some deadly stunts that were performed by experts.
In conclusion, The computer is the greatest invention that has ever been invented until now. These devices have a prominent role in mankind. It is the responsibility of every parent to keep track of their children and make sure their kids are using them for educational and academic purposes.Submitted by varmaib1 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question posed. While you focus on the negative effects of computer use, ensure to briefly acknowledge the positive effects as well, to present a balanced view if you choose a one-sided argument.
Task Achievement
Develop your paragraphs more evenly. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborately explain your point. Provide more specific examples from real life or studies to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence, try to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'On the other hand,' can help connect ideas more clearly and show relationships between sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve cohesion, use synonyms and paraphrase effectively to avoid repetition. This will also make your essay more engaging to read.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite