You would like to take admission at the college. Write a letter to the program coordinator in charge of the course and ask for detailed information on the deadline dates, the program, the accommodation.

#admission #college #program #coordinator #charge #course #information #deadline #dates #accommodation

I am writing to concern with taking admission

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the college. I want to know some information about the deadline dates because I am planning to go on holiday on 1st July. Please send me all of

Add an article

the detials

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detials

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details

about

deadline

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the deadline

a deadline

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. I wish to know about the program

whether

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apply

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what kind of program is and how much is their duration. It is interesting to know how many lecturers are in that

programe

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programme

program

. I would

Add the particle

like to

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know about accommodation . I know that

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apply

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your college

have

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has

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a lot of accommodation for the

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

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. It is convenient for me that I stay

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in a

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single room and have a

seperate

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separate

bathroom ,

bedroom

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a bedroom

the bedroom

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must

has

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have

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Correct your spelling

two

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windows . I

perfer

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prefer

conect

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connect

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to storong

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storong

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strong

internet with wifi . So

Fix the infinitive

apply

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send me your offer about accommodation and send me your contact number

for calling

Wrong verb form

so I can call

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you . I am looking forward to hearing your answer as soon as possible. Yours

faitfully

Correct your spelling

faithfully

Zohrab

Submitted by zohrab-gevorgyan on Tue Feb 20 2024

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Greeting

Your letter begins without a formal greeting, which is necessary in formal correspondence. Consider starting with 'Dear [Program Coordinator's Name]' or 'Dear Program Coordinator,' to immediately engage with the reader in a respectful manner.

Logical Structure

Your letter could benefit from a more structured layout. Each paragraph should focus on a single request or question, which you've mostly achieved, but ensure they are clearly separated and follow a logical sequence. This enhances readability and coherence.

Closing

Make sure to close your letter formally to maintain the appropriate tone throughout. Use 'Yours faithfully,' (when you don't know the name of the person) followed by your full name.

Complete Response

To improve task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. You've covered the main points but providing more detailed inquiries and perhaps showing more knowledge or interest in the program could strengthen your letter.

Suitable Writing Tone

The tone of your writing is mostly suitable for formal communication. However, be mindful of using more formal language and sentence structures, avoiding contractions ('I am' instead of 'I'm') and ensuring correctness in grammar and vocabulary to align with formal writing standards.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You would like to take admission at the college. Write a letter to the program coordinator in charge of the course and ask for detailed information on the deadline dates, the program, the accommodation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. People are encouraged to use public transportation such as buses, taxis, and metro on vehicle-free days. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+