Some people believe that children who are given pocket money every week have less problems managing money when they become adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #pocket #money #week #adults

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Money

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management is a crucial part for everyone to learn and practice as early as possible. In fact, I strongly agree with those who feel that

children

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will have fewer problems controlling their wealth in the future when they already manage their weekly pocket

money

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Firstly

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children

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with routine earnings in the early period could have experience saving

money

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Although

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the lesson or the learning to manage

money

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can be received by theory

such

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as books and lectures, the best way to study it is by practising it. To illustrate, if

children

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earn weekly pocket

money

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, they will tend to feel to have an extra responsibility.

Thus

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, not only do they usually know their priorities, but

also

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they tend to limit their spending on unimportant things, which may result in a load of amount of

money

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. It is,

therefore

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, clear how the saving may develop a strong foundation.

Secondly

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children

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's stress because of finances in the future may be reduced. It is a clear fact that people can not rely on all the time on their parents because they are getting older, and so do

children

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That is

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why it is really crucial to prepare the

children

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to manage their cash flow as soon as possible.

For instance

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, someone who used to manage their

money

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cashflow

Correct your spelling

cash flow

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since their childhood time

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apply

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feels that it is important to know where their

money

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goes.

Moreover

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, they will be able to identify their spending and know when to stop.

Thus

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, all the bills and needs could be paid. In conclusion,

children

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with weekly pocket

money

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is an important thing for them. I,

therefore

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, remain firmly convinced that

children

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will have fewer problems when they are adults after they have prepared in their early time.

Submitted by rezaf.permadi on Sat Apr 13 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures to add complexity. While your points are clear, more complex sentences could enhance your argument.

Task Achievement

Try to include more detailed examples to support your arguments. Specifically illustrating your points with examples can significantly strengthen your essay.

Structure

Clear introduction and conclusion that effectively bookend your essay.

Logical Flow

You managed to maintain a logical progression of ideas throughout your essay.

Positioning

Good job in presenting and maintaining a clear position throughout your response.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Some people believe that children who are given pocket money every week have less problems managing money when they become adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that educating children altogether will benefit them. Others think intelligent children should be taught separately and given special courses. Discuss those two views.