some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development
Usage of electronic gadgets including mobile
phones
has become common among children
. They are spending hours on these devices for various purposes which I will discuss later in the essay. However
, in my opinion, it’s a totally negative development, and in this
essay, I will explain some reasons supporting my opinion.
Children
are spending more time
on mobile phones
for various reasons. These devices have become mandatory in many schools, where students are required to use them for tasks such
as learning art and practicing music through recommended websites. consequently
, they spend more time
on these exercises than on actual studies. Besides
this
, multiple ads pop up on their screens which promote games and other entertainment apps. They downloaded those apps from the Play Store and started to play them. Furthermore
, platforms such
as TikTok and YouTube serve as additional sources of distraction, capturing children
’s attention for extended periods.
However
, this
continuous reliance on smartphones has led to significant detrimental effects. Firstly
, they become addicted to games which are harmful to their health and affect their cognitive abilities also
. Blue whale challenge
, Correct your spelling
Whale Challenge
for instance
, the game, first became popular in China among young people, where they had to attempt different tasks assigned by the application. Due to
the extreme effects of the Blue Whale game on children
's minds, deaths have been reported, with some children
attempting suicide because they believe it is part of the game. Additionally
, these activities also
divert their mind from their studies. nevertheless
, parents need to look after their children
and activities and must adjust screen time
on all mobile phones
.
In conclusion, children
are spending more time
on mobile phones
. Consequently
, this
diverts their mind from studies and affects their mental health also
. In my opinion, this
is a negative development. So, parents need to look after their children
's activities.Submitted by sadiahussain028 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a single clear focus, potentially by starting with a topic sentence that summarises the paragraph's main idea.
coherence cohesion
Try to link your ideas more smoothly using a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as 'moreover', 'in addition', 'on the other hand', to help your essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
Work on developing a more nuanced argument regarding the positive and negative aspects discussed. This can be achieved by exploring both sides of the issue in a balanced manner and providing more detailed examples to support your points.
task achievement
Avoid using examples that are not widely recognized or might be seen as extreme without proper evidence (e.g., Blue Whale game). Instead, opt for more general examples that clearly support your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay remains focused on the question. It's important to address directly both aspects of the task: the reasons children spend so much time on smartphones and a well-argued opinion on whether this development is positive or negative.