some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development
Usage of electronic gadgets including mobile
phones
has become common among Use synonyms
children
. They are spending hours on these devices for various purposes which I will discuss later in the essay. Use synonyms
However
, in my opinion, it’s a totally negative development, and in Linking Words
this
essay, I will explain some reasons supporting my opinion.
Linking Words
Children
are spending more Use synonyms
time
on mobile Use synonyms
phones
for various reasons. These devices have become mandatory in many schools, where students are required to use them for tasks Use synonyms
such
as learning art and practicing music through recommended websites. Linking Words
consequently
, they spend more Linking Words
time
on these exercises than on actual studies. Use synonyms
Besides
Linking Words
this
, multiple ads pop up on their screens which promote games and other entertainment apps. They downloaded those apps from the Play Store and started to play them. Linking Words
Furthermore
, platforms Linking Words
such
as TikTok and YouTube serve as additional sources of distraction, capturing Linking Words
children
’s attention for extended periods.
Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
continuous reliance on smartphones has led to significant detrimental effects. Linking Words
Firstly
, they become addicted to games which are harmful to their health and affect their cognitive abilities Linking Words
also
. Blue Linking Words
whale challenge
, Correct your spelling
Whale Challenge
for instance
, the game, first became popular in China among young people, where they had to attempt different tasks assigned by the application. Linking Words
Due to
the extreme effects of the Blue Whale game on Linking Words
children
's minds, deaths have been reported, with some Use synonyms
children
attempting suicide because they believe it is part of the game. Use synonyms
Additionally
, these activities Linking Words
also
divert their mind from their studies. Linking Words
nevertheless
, parents need to look after their Linking Words
children
and activities and must adjust screen Use synonyms
time
on all mobile Use synonyms
phones
.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
children
are spending more Use synonyms
time
on mobile Use synonyms
phones
. Use synonyms
Consequently
, Linking Words
this
diverts their mind from studies and affects their mental health Linking Words
also
. In my opinion, Linking Words
this
is a negative development. So, parents need to look after their Linking Words
children
's activities.Use synonyms
Submitted by sadiahussain028 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a single clear focus, potentially by starting with a topic sentence that summarises the paragraph's main idea.
coherence cohesion
Try to link your ideas more smoothly using a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as 'moreover', 'in addition', 'on the other hand', to help your essay flow more naturally.
task achievement
Work on developing a more nuanced argument regarding the positive and negative aspects discussed. This can be achieved by exploring both sides of the issue in a balanced manner and providing more detailed examples to support your points.
task achievement
Avoid using examples that are not widely recognized or might be seen as extreme without proper evidence (e.g., Blue Whale game). Instead, opt for more general examples that clearly support your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay remains focused on the question. It's important to address directly both aspects of the task: the reasons children spend so much time on smartphones and a well-argued opinion on whether this development is positive or negative.