Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages?
Many are of the opinion that teenagers are easily affected in their behaviours and circumstances by their feeling of being excluded from their group, youngsters often follow anti-social behaviours and engage in juvenile delinquency. A salient example of
peers
who are mostly in the same age group, which can be seen as a peer
culture. Although
there would be partly positives with children developing themselves academically and emotionally, the downsides are greater than the advantages given that friends
convince each other to commit crimes.
Those emphasizing the merits of peer
pressure
often claim that friends
play a vital role in children’s improved academic performance. Individuals who often get along with
high-achieving peers
are more likely to work harder to get high scores on exams to outpace their friends
. It is also
common for them to ask for help when struggling with math or science questions and frequently engage in collaborative study sessions at the library after school. Through participating in extracurricular activities such
as coding or art classes with their peers
, students
excel academically together. On top of this
, exposure to peer
pressure
can contribute to the development of social skills, including interpersonal and communication abilities among students
. The presence of other children helps the young naturally form positive qualities such
as honesty, patience, and politeness, widening the likelihood of establishing healthy relationships with others in adulthood.
In spite of the positive aspect of peer
pressure
, more negative opinions can be seen as social issues in recent years. Adolescents typically build stronger bonds with their friends
and are especially vulnerable to the social pressures exerted by peers
. In order to avoidAdd an article
the
a
this
would be that some Korean students
, in the late 2010s, posted their video bullying and physically hitting their classmates, other students
who saw this
just started to conduct the same behaviour even though they may know this
is not socially acceptable. Like this
, teenagers prevalently engage in petty crimes ranging from assaulting innocent classmates to drinking and smoking, potentially opening a pathway into more serious crimes later on.
In conclusion, peer
pressure
sometimes becomes a powerful source of motivation for children to study harder to stand against their friends
and helps them improve social skills and positive characteristics. However
, the negative sides outweigh the positives due to
several cases where teenagers exhibit anti-social behaviours and participate in criminal acts.Submitted by yeseulyou92 on
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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines what the essay will discuss. A more definitive statement on your stance regarding the advantages and disadvantages of peer pressure would strengthen your introduction.
Task Achievement
To improve the clarity of your ideas, consider further elaborating on why the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages, possibly by comparing the long-term impacts of both.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance your essay’s coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each body paragraph clearly focuses on one main idea. This will help in maintaining a logical structure throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your conclusion, restate your thesis in light of the arguments made throughout your essay. This ties your essay together and reinforces your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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