More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some peopel think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We live in an age when an increasing number of individuals are suffering from obesity. To solve
this
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problem, others suggest that the price of unhealthy and fatty food products should be increased. I completely disagree with
this
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notion, as there are other effective methods that can be taken to solve
this
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health issue. There are a number of reasons why most populations these days are gaining weight. The most conspicuous one lies in the fact that they have poor lifestyle habits - smoking, drinking too much, and lack of exercising. What is more, a growing number of
people
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have a lack of acknowledgement about their health.
Therefore
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, it is
more
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apply
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crucial to educate citizens to raise awareness of their negative health habits and encourage them to have positive changes. Another point worth noting is that the majority of
people
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tend to sleep less than 5 hours.
This
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is especially true among young generations who have to study or work late at night
due to
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increasing pressure to succeed.
According to
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a study conducted by Seoul National University, compared to the
people
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who have slept more than 5 hours, the others tend to gain more weight easily.
As a result
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, even though
people
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have healthy patterns, lack of sleep can lead to obesity. In conclusion, though increasing the cost of food might be helpful at some point, I strongly disagree with
this
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statement, because there are more important parts that are associated with
this
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problem.

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coherence and cohesion
Include more structured topic sentences for each paragraph that clearly relate back to the main argument.
task achievement
Expand on specific points with more detailed examples and explanations, especially regarding health awareness and lifestyle changes.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow the author's argument.
task achievement
The author provides relevant examples and references to a study, showing an understanding of the topic's complexities.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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