Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays reducing consumption of
sugar
-based products is a growing trend. Many types of foods and beverages encompass a vast amount of
sugar
, which results in numerous health problems. It is proposed that increased prices of these products can be a motivational measure to reduce using
sugar
. I wholeheartedly disagree with
this
insight, and in
this
essay, I will express my reasons. On the one hand, it might have devasting effects on people’s lives.
Initially
, it imposes extensive expenditure on families because
although
affording to provide these manufactures is difficult, individuals prefer to buy them
due to
a lack of knowledge about the disadvantages of foods rich in
sugar
.
Also
, deleting
this
ingredient from the diet completely, causes people to encounter some disorders. A certain level of
sugar
is necessary to manage conditions in the body,
therefore
, if the prices climb considerably, consumers might face problems
such
as a lack of energy and severe headaches.
On the other hand
,
this
proposal perhaps leads to damaging consequences for industries. It is predicted that companies will lose their customers if they do not supply cost-effective commodities. So, factories might go bankrupt.
In addition
, it is stated in some prestigious articles that manipulating the costs of special merchandise causes economic recession and rampant inflation
due to
its effects on other products. In conclusion, from my point of view, making the cost of foods or drinks containing
sugar
fortune is not an effective way in order to encourage people to avoid utilizing
sugar
. Because it increases the cost of living for families and leads to some health issues,
besides
, it can destroy firms or lead to rising inflation.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
You need to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For example, mention specific health problems that can result from high sugar consumption or provide real-world evidence of places where increased prices on sugary products have been successful or unsuccessful.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear, try to structure them in a more balanced manner. Ensure each paragraph covers a single point and concludes it well before transitioning to the next. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points. This helps create a cohesive structure.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue and maintain it throughout the essay. This helps in fulfilling the task response criterion effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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