IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opening in a country from 2011 to 2018.

The chart shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops opening in a country from 2011 to 2018.
The provided line graph illustrates the amount of opened and closed new shops in a particular area between two periods of time.
Overall
Linking Words
, both of
pictured
Correct article usage
the pictured
show examples
 graphs show a variation in their numbers.
Although
Linking Words
 the openings were more common than the
closures
Use synonyms
 in 2011, the situation altered in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the
closures
Use synonyms
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the number of shops that opened
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 around 8500 in the first
year
Use synonyms
, it plummeted for the following
year
Use synonyms
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
 than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the previous amount and kept variating until
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2015 when it taped off
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 four
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
. Since
then
Linking Words
, there was a very minor increase
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
about one hundred in 2017 and right after that there was a significant decrease ending with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
3000 openings in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 of provided data. As for the
closures
Use synonyms
, they had a similar trend
fluctuiating
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
 for the first half of the period, demonstrating the highest peak reaching just above
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
7000 shops following the slight decline in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2014. Since
then
Linking Words
, the amount of
closures
Use synonyms
 showed a significant downfall until 2015 and a significant rise in numbers with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more than 4000
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
year
Use synonyms
 before. For the least three years the line kept stable.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words closures, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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