IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, it is usually believed that
friendships
Use synonyms
 that take place online might not be meaningful compared to
friendships
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 where
people
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 meet each other
face
Use synonyms
 to
face
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. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view.  First and foremost,
people
Use synonyms
 should recognize that online
friendships
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 might not be sustainable.
People
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 contacting
friends
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 through the Internet would
face
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 a lack of physical interaction, a crucial factor in bonding a meaningful friendship. As an example,
while
Linking Words
 contacting
friends
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 online, we cannot know our
friends
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’ actual thoughts, which can be presented through body language and eye contact.
In addition
Linking Words
, we cannot deny the fact that
people
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 who are trying to make
friends
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 online might
face
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 the threat of identity theft, which might have their personal information stolen.  Another reason why I agree with the statement is that
friendships
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 where
people
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 meet each other
face
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 to
face
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 are able to strengthen
people
Use synonyms
’s connection than online ones. Unlike online
friendships
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, a
face
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-to-
face
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 friendship will allow
people
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 to hang out with their
friends
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 more regularly. That not only leads to the reduction of stress and pressure that
people
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face
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 in their daily lives but
also
Linking Words
 provides more opportunities for them to share their emotions and experiences.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of friendship will create more memorable moments between
people
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 and their
friends
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.  In conclusion, I believe that online
friendships
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 might not be as meaningful as
face
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-to-
face
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friendships
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.
However
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, it could be more interesting when you contact others through social media platforms than seeing
friends
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 sometimes.

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style
Consider using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make the essay more engaging. For instance, instead of starting many sentences with 'People,' you could rephrase or vary the sentence beginnings.
content
You can strengthen your arguments by using more specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, referencing studies or statistics about online friendships vs face-to-face friendships could add weight to your arguments.
style
Try to avoid repetition of ideas or phrases. For example, the phrases 'online friendships' and 'face-to-face friendships' are repeated quite frequently. You can use synonyms or rephrase to make the essay smoother.
structure
You've done a good job structuring your essay. The introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
clarity
Your ideas are expressed clearly and are generally easy to understand. This is crucial for achieving a high score in coherence and cohesion.
content
You have addressed the prompt well by presenting arguments in favor of face-to-face friendships and supporting them with relevant reasoning.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • non-verbal communication cues
  • depth of understanding
  • spontaneous
  • genuine moments
  • shared interests
  • sense of physical presence
  • evolve
  • constant connectivity
  • nurture friendships
  • busy schedules
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