IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argure that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#courses #alternative #students #type #lectures #argure #study #university
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years, online
classes
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 taken
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 of the
on-compus
Correct your spelling
on-campus
ones
 and it has become vastly popular among both
students
 and professors. Some of the enrollments choose these
classes
 over the old
ones
 so there is no need for them to go to the university,
while
 others believe that the importance of
precense
Correct your spelling
presence
 at the academy is undeniable. In my point of view, internet-based
classes
 are more efficient and modern than the old-fashioned, on-campus
ones
. The
students
 who are satisfied with online
classes
 say that it has helped
saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
 resources in many ways. When
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to the university, you lose a vast amount of time, energy and money for transportation. By attending lectures online, there is no need for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and you can catch the
classes
 from your laptop. So, internet-based
classes
 are beneficial to save the time,
financial
Correct word choice
and financial
show examples
 and physical resources you have to invest to attend the courses.
On the other hand
, some people argue that university-based
classes
 are much better because they provide the facilities needed for
students
' better understanding. When you take
classes
 on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 and you are at home, you are usually surrounded by many distractions.
In contrast
, by being present
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
campus, you can listen to the course in an academic atmosphere and you can see everyone around you
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 listening.
As a result
, you can focus more and ultimately, you can have a better understanding of the lecture. So, presence
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the class helps you
consentrate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 and learn better.
Overall
, there are two opinions
around
Change preposition
about
show examples
 online and on-campus
classes
. Some say that internet-based
ones
 are better because of their property of saving energy, time and money. Others argue that lectures are better to be held at the university building so the
students
 can focus better. I am inclined to agree with the former opinion, as learning and focusing is completely individual-based and it does not depend on the environment.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Work on elaborating your arguments with more detailed and specific examples to support your points. Providing real-world scenarios or citing studies could make your essay more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on writing more complex sentences and using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making your essay more cohesive.
Language Accuracy
Be mindful of occasional grammatical errors and typos, such as 'has taken place of the on-compus ones'. Proper proofreading can enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: