IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person's culture and character from their choices of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #culture #character #choices #clothes
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Many populations agree on the possibility
to know
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of knowing
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 about other
people
's culture and
personality
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personalities
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according to
 their
garnment
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garment
 choices.
This
 essay disagrees with that statement
,
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apply
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 because each person
portraits
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portrays
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 their own personal style and
likings
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liking
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,
as well as
 it tends to create a prejudice around certain groups of
people
 that
dress
 in a specific way.
Dressing
Add an article
The dressing
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 has always been
considereded
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considered
 as
an
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a
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 statement or
represetation
Correct your spelling
representation
 of each one as an individual, whether
people
 tend to follow certain trends or
dress
 codes, it is still an
extention
Correct your spelling
extension
 of
people
's
creativy
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creativity
creative
 or style.
According to
 recent studies made by the University of Milan in 2020, fashion has occupied a concise and unconventional method to exteriorize political opinions or make affirmations regarding
to
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apply
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economical
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economic
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 or social movements.
Moreover
, not only is widely
innacurate
Correct your spelling
inaccurate
 to
asume
Correct your spelling
assume
 a person's culture or personality by their clothing, but it
also
 creates
a
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an
show examples
 inconciuss prejudice that enables societies to
pin point
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pinpoint
show examples
at
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apply
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certain
individuals
 or groups of
people
 who tend to
dress
according
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according to
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 non-traditional standards.
For example
, there is a pre
coincived
Correct your spelling
conceived
 idea around
people
 that
dress
 in 'gothic' manners; often associating these
individuals
 to be inclined to darkness, and obscure practices, abstaining 'regular'
people
 from bonding with
such
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
.
A
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An
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 NGO called 'Be
who you are
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Who You Are
show examples
' conducted a series of
street-interviews
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street interviews
show examples
 in 2019 to ask pedestrians about their assumptions of
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 were dressed with extravagant attires, most of the answers deemed and labelled these
individuals
 into different cultures or even assumed they belonged to a cult, and their demeanor could be rather threatening or condescending. These assumptions were faced with the reality that they radically
missjudged
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misjudged
miss judged
 the
individuals
, since they did not
belonged
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belong
show examples
 to any sort of cult and their personalities were actually
approcheable
Correct your spelling
approachable
 and kind. In conclusion,
while
 is an
easy-route
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easy route
show examples
 to have
pre-coinceived
Correct your spelling
pre-conceived
 notions about
people
's culture or personal behaviour based only on their clothing,
this
 conception is often
missguided
Correct your spelling
misguided
, in light of the fact that each person represents their tastes and styles through clothing and these ideas pose as prejudices rather than facts. To respect and be open-minded to all
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
 of
people
 could construct a better society, in a way to
also
 accept different cultures and characteristics.
Submitted by alejandragarciabaez.9 on

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introduction conclusion present
It's crucial to ensure a clear introductory paragraph that not only presents the topic but also clearly states the writer's position. This makes the essay's direction more comprehensible for the reader.
logical structure
Work on varying your sentence structure to enhance readability and engage the reader. This can also help in presenting ideas more dynamically.
supported main points
Integrate more specific examples directly related to the main argument. This includes statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes to fully support your stance and add depth to your essay.
complete response
Make sure to address the task directly by taking a clear stance on the statement presented in the prompt. Enhance your essay by adding paragraphs that specifically refute potential opposing viewpoints.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarity of ideas can be further improved by ensuring each paragraph focuses on one main idea with clear supportive arguments. This helps the reader follow your argument without confusion.
relevant specific examples
Incorporating a broader range of relevant examples strengthens your essay. Aim to include a variety of perspectives and counterarguments to enhance the depth of discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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