Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

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Happiness

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is the ultimate goal of everyone in life. Some think that

this

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can be achieved through accumulating

money

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, as it would provide for their basic needs. In

this

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essay, I will give reasons to prove that other than

money

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, good

health

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and healthy

relationships

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are the primary factors that contribute to one's

happiness

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To begin

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with, others might believe that a person needs a lot of

money

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in order to be happy. It is somewhat true as it provides the basic needs of humans.

However

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, it does not guarantee

happiness

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For instance

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, a photographer who was well-known all over the world committed suicide because he got depressed over the war and famine he witnessed when he was travelling abroad. Despite his success, he fell into depression.

Thus

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money

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does not ensure

happiness

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On the other hand

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, healthy

relationships

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are one of the keys to

happiness

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. People are happier when they are surrounded by loving family and friends.

That is

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why most of the time they long for companionship when they are going through hard times, as problems become more bearable when shared with others.

Thus

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, meaningful

relationships

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contribute significantly to a person's emotional well-being.

In addition

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to that,

health

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is another factor in achieving a happy life. As no amount of

money

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could replace a deteriorated

health

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For instance

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, the Covid-19 pandemic has proved

this

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. The consequences of a weak immune system have unexpectedly killed millions of people across the globe.

Hence

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, people should start taking care of their physical and mental well-being with proper exercise and diet in order to maintain good

health

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. In conclusion, though

money

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offers financial security, it does not secure joy in life.

However

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, I believe that

happiness

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is attained with healthy

relationships

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and good

health

Use synonyms

yoko.oneromWed Feb 21 2024

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Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction sets forth the topic and your main argument. Each body paragraph should have one main idea supported by examples or explanations, and the conclusion should summarise your key points and restate your main argument in light of the discussion.

Cohesive Devices

Improve the logical flow of your essay by using cohesive devices effectively. Transition words and phrases like 'however,' 'on the other hand,' and 'in addition' can help create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. Making sure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.

Supporting Examples

Support each of your main points with specific examples or detailed explanations. Your arguments will become more convincing to the reader if they are grounded in real-life examples or detailed reasoning. Furthermore, providing more detailed examples will help you achieve a higher task response score.

Idea Development

Develop your ideas fully and provide a more in-depth analysis. Your essay will be stronger if you explore your points more fully, perhaps by considering counterarguments or by explaining the implications of your arguments. Offering a comprehensive discussion can lead to a higher score in task achievement.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

facilitation
foundational
comfort
financial stability
pursue hobbies
passionate
fulfilling
satisfying
financial security
peace of mind
mental well-being
fostering
social connections
fulfillment
material possessions
lasting memories
satisfaction
diminishing returns
wealth
translate
significant

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Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to use printed materials such as books and articles to do research than it is to use the Internet. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

In certain countries, unemployment is so high that some have suggested children should stop their education after primary school to learn skills necessary to join the workforce. Do you agree or disagree?