IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows: Dear …………………..,

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Dear Dhruvi, I trust you are doing well. I am writing
this
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 letter to propose an idea to transfer myself to the operations department. First and foremost, I have been in my current role as a designer for more than two years now. Throughout my tenure in
this
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 position, I excelled in project management skills, developed a deep knowledge of our manufacturing capabilities, gained experience in designing cutting-edge products,
as well as
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 in-depth knowledge of different materials.
Therefore
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, after careful consideration of all my seasoned skills and my prospects for my career, I would like to move to the operations department.
Additionally
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, the company will benefit from my experience and knowledge to improve departmental efficiencies, create more cross-functional teams, and lower manufacturing and overhead costs.
Last
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 but not least, the company’s vision is aligned with my career goal to push the engineering boundaries to develop the latest technology products with minimal environmental impacts. I look forward to a positive response from you soon. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely, Ruchin Patel

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formatting
Consider breaking down your achievements into bullet points for clarity and emphasis, as this could make your arguments more persuasive.
content
You may want to explicitly state the skills you can bring to the operations department early in the letter to grab attention.
tone
The letter maintains a professional tone and is polite throughout, which is appropriate for a workplace communication.
content
Your explanation of skills gained in your current role is detailed and relevant, showcasing your qualifications for the new position.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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