In some country, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is crucial for people in many countries to own a
home
instead
of renting one.
Although
buying a personal
house
causes both positive and negative impacts.But,I personally believe that it is important for everyone to have their own residence.
Home
is a basic need for human beings.
As everyone
Correct word choice
Everyone
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wants to return
home
after their busy day.If it is personal,there will be more satisfaction.
To begin
with,in their own
house
,there is freedom to decorate their habitation.
For example
, children can embellish their room with their favourite costumes.
For example
, girls prefer to see their room in
Correct article usage
a cinderella
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cinderella
Capitalize word
Cinderella
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theme,
on the other hand
,boys are more interested in Spiderman.Not only the younger members but
also
older members can do it.
Secondly
, a personal
home
is an asset which will support the rest of your life.
Last
but not least,It is the emotional place which remains memories after death.That's why it is said that
livingin
Correct your spelling
living in
apoor-quality
Correct your spelling
a poor-quality
poor-quality
house
but owning is better than other luxurious houses.
Furthermore
, it is necessary in some countries to have own
house
.As the renting value is a high price which makes life more complicated.
Thus
,the government support them
loans
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with loans
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,and
as a result
, people try to achieve it at any cost. But the tendency of owning a
house
,
Remove the comma
apply
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is sometimes the reason for unhappiness. Because most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people take a loan which is turning
double
Replace the word
doubles
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within
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
years.In some cases,if someone dies leaving a big amount of
house
loan, it leads the family to a worse situation. So,it is the burden of the middle-class family. In conclusion, the negative impact of owning a
home
may be overcome.
Thus
,a personal
house
is a place of sound mind.So,It's a great decision to get it.
Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on

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Task Response
To improve task response, make sure to address all parts of the question clearly. While you've discussed the importance of owning a home and some consequences, expand on why this is considered important in some countries and further discuss the positives and negatives with more detailed examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of ideas. Transition sentences can help link paragraphs and ideas more smoothly. Consider using signposting language like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion' more effectively to guide the reader.
Task Response
To enhance your essay, provide more specific examples to support your main points. Rather than general statements, use real-life scenarios or hypothetical examples that vividly illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of owning a home.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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