In some country, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#country #home #people #be #case #situation

It is crucial for people in many countries to own a

home

instead

of renting one.

Although

buying a personal

house

causes both positive and negative impacts.But,I personally believe that it is important for everyone to have their own residence.

Home

is a basic need for human beings.

As everyone

Correct word choice

Everyone

show examples

wants to return

home

after their busy day.If it is personal,there will be more satisfaction.

To begin

with,in their own

house

,there is freedom to decorate their habitation.

For example

, children can embellish their room with their favourite costumes.

For example

, girls prefer to see their room in

Correct article usage

a cinderella

show examples

cinderella

Capitalize word

Cinderella

show examples

theme,

on the other hand

,boys are more interested in Spiderman.Not only the younger members but

also

older members can do it.

Secondly

, a personal

home

is an asset which will support the rest of your life.

Last

but not least,It is the emotional place which remains memories after death.That's why it is said that

livingin

Correct your spelling

living in

apoor-quality

Correct your spelling

a poor-quality

poor-quality

house

but owning is better than other luxurious houses.

Furthermore

, it is necessary in some countries to have own

house

.As the renting value is a high price which makes life more complicated.

Thus

,the government support them

loans

Change preposition

with loans

show examples

,and

as a result

, people try to achieve it at any cost. But the tendency of owning a

house

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is sometimes the reason for unhappiness. Because most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people take a loan which is turning

double

Replace the word

doubles

show examples

within

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

years.In some cases,if someone dies leaving a big amount of

house

loan, it leads the family to a worse situation. So,it is the burden of the middle-class family. In conclusion, the negative impact of owning a

home

may be overcome.

Thus

,a personal

house

is a place of sound mind.So,It's a great decision to get it.

Submitted by Aafuankazinatoshi on Wed Feb 21 2024

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Task Response

To improve task response, make sure to address all parts of the question clearly. While you've discussed the importance of owning a home and some consequences, expand on why this is considered important in some countries and further discuss the positives and negatives with more detailed examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of ideas. Transition sentences can help link paragraphs and ideas more smoothly. Consider using signposting language like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in conclusion' more effectively to guide the reader.

Task Response

To enhance your essay, provide more specific examples to support your main points. Rather than general statements, use real-life scenarios or hypothetical examples that vividly illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of owning a home.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

277 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some country, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

‎ Some young people leave the countryside to live in cities or towns, leaving only ‎older people in the countryside. What are the problems of this issue? What can ‎be done to solve this problem?‎

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about culture and people, because people can learn from books, films, or the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate amoung teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.