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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
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The ways in which
science
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 should be utilized have become a topic of debate in society.
While
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 some believe the primary objective should be to enhance individuals' lives for convenience, others disagree. I strongly support the former statement
due to
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 the fundamental purpose of
science
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 creation and the constraints of limited
resources
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.
Firstly
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,
science
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 was originally developed to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 human needs. There is no point in investing effort in
endeavors
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endeavours
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 that do not positively impact our lives, as it would go against the very essence of scientific innovation.
For example
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, the discovery of fire was instrumental in providing warmth and cooking food.
Secondly
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,
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resources
Correct article usage
the resources
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 available to us are finite. Energy, fuel, manpower, and financial budgets are all limited
resources
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 that must be judiciously utilized to minimize waste.
For instance
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, allocating a significant portion of funds towards researching the existence of aliens, which does not directly enhance the quality of life for society, would not be a prudent decision.
Therefore
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, I argue that the primary purpose of
science
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 should be to address people's needs, considering the scarcity of
resources
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 and the rationale behind the creation of
science
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.
On the contrary
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, some individuals suggest that the primary goal of
science
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 does not necessarily have to prioritize human convenience, advocating for experts to pursue research
according to
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 their interests.
However
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, I believe
this
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 perspective not only fails to benefit society but could
also
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 be detrimental. In conclusion, I strongly advocate for scientific and research goals to be aimed at improving human life, considering the limitations of
resources
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 and the principles underlying scientific inquiry.
Submitted by soroush.nezami on

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task achievement
To enhance the task achievement, consider diversifying the types of examples you provide. While providing historical examples like the 'discovery of fire' is useful, adding modern-day examples or hypothetical situations could strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a strong structure and well-linked ideas, but you could enhance this further by integrating more variety in your linking phrases. Try to use a mixture of simple and complex conjunctions and transitions. This will make your essay flow even more smoothly and naturally.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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