The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The ways in which

science

should be utilized have become a topic of debate in society.

While

some believe the primary objective should be to enhance individuals' lives for convenience, others disagree. I strongly support the former statement

due to

the fundamental purpose of

science

creation and the constraints of limited

resources

Firstly

science

was originally developed to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

human needs. There is no point in investing effort in

endeavors

Change the spelling

endeavours

show examples

that do not positively impact our lives, as it would go against the very essence of scientific innovation.

For example

, the discovery of fire was instrumental in providing warmth and cooking food.

Secondly

resources

Correct article usage

the resources

show examples

available to us are finite. Energy, fuel, manpower, and financial budgets are all limited

resources

that must be judiciously utilized to minimize waste.

For instance

, allocating a significant portion of funds towards researching the existence of aliens, which does not directly enhance the quality of life for society, would not be a prudent decision.

Therefore

, I argue that the primary purpose of

science

should be to address people's needs, considering the scarcity of

resources

and the rationale behind the creation of

science

On the contrary

, some individuals suggest that the primary goal of

science

does not necessarily have to prioritize human convenience, advocating for experts to pursue research

according to

their interests.

However

, I believe

this

perspective not only fails to benefit society but could

also

be detrimental. In conclusion, I strongly advocate for scientific and research goals to be aimed at improving human life, considering the limitations of

resources

and the principles underlying scientific inquiry.

Submitted by soroush.nezami on Wed Mar 27 2024

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task achievement

To enhance the task achievement, consider diversifying the types of examples you provide. While providing historical examples like the 'discovery of fire' is useful, adding modern-day examples or hypothetical situations could strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a strong structure and well-linked ideas, but you could enhance this further by integrating more variety in your linking phrases. Try to use a mixture of simple and complex conjunctions and transitions. This will make your essay flow even more smoothly and naturally.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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