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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the government should provide free housing, while others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Although
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 some suppose that the
government
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 should take the
responsibility
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 of providing
people
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 with free housing, others, including myself, are of the opinion that it should not be one of the
government
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's responsibilities. In the following essay, I will investigate both sides, and I
also
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 express my opinion.
To begin
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 with, some claim that it is the
responsibility
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 of the
government
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 to provide
people
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 with free accommodation. I agree that
this
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 measure reduces the social gap in society. Many
people
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 who are living in big cities are deprived of having decent
houses
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.
This
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government
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's measure reduces the number of homeless
people
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.
This
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 action can alleviate poverty in a country and disadvantaged
people
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 have places to live like other
people
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.
Consequently
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, the difference between different classes of
people
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 will shrink.
Secondly
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, cities will have more harmony. Building many
houses
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 for
people
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 requires
a
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apply
show examples
considerable planning and discipline, which can be done by professional engineers. They can design
houses
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 to be more harmonious with regard to cities' landforms.
On the other hand
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, there is an idea, which I
also
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 side with, that providing
people
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 with free housing is not the
responsibility
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 of the
government
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. At
first,
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I believe that the
government
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 should just introduce some rules and regulations to facilitate the process of house building.
For example
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,
people
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 can take loans to purchase a place to live.
Secondly
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, it is a huge
responsibility
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 to provide many
houses
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 for
people
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, and it is needed to allocate a significant budget for the free housing plans.
This
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 can increase
inflation
Correct article usage
the inflation
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 rate in a country and cause other economic issues in turn.
To sum up
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,
while
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 others believe that free housing is one of the
government
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's responsibilities, others maintain that the
government
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 should not be responsible for
this
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.
Nevertheless
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, I am of the opinion that the
government
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 should just support
people
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 in the process of housing
such
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 as offering loans, and if the
government
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 takes
this
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 heavy
responsibility
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,
people
Use synonyms
 will suffer from inflation in late years.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the essay's structure and purpose. Although your introduction is generally clear, making your thesis statement more explicit could significantly enhance clarity.
Logical structure
Enhance coherence by ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that signals the paragraph's main idea. While you've done well to separate ideas into paragraphs, occasionally, more explicit topic sentences could strengthen the logical flow.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with more detailed and varied examples. While your essay includes relevant examples, incorporating a broader range of evidence could make your argument more persuasive.
Complete Response
In the discussion of both views and your own opinion, ensure that you fully develop each point. You've done a good job at attempting this, but some points could benefit from further development and analysis for a more comprehensive response.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Strive for clear and comprehensive explanations of your ideas. Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, but further elaboration on each point could enhance clarity and depth of your argument.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Incorporate more specific, real-world examples to ground your arguments. While your essay contains relevant examples, more precise and diverse examples could enrich your discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic living standards
  • social equality
  • economic growth
  • disposable income
  • sustainable/sustainability
  • taxes
  • quality of housing
  • private sector
  • government intervention
  • innovation
  • efficiency
  • affordable housing
  • self-sufficiency
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