IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People no longer use newspapers and television because the internet plays the same role as them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #newspapers #television #internet #role
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
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Internet
show examples
 can replace the use of
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 and
television
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 as they all have the same function.
Although
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newspapers
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 and
television
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 were the main mass media in the old days, I believe that the
internet
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 has been well-developed to present all
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of information that
people
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 would desire to know, or even provide users a more comprehensive knowledge regarding the things happening around us. On the one hand, the
internet
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 allows
people
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 to access different resources and read a variety of information,
such
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 as press websites,
social
Correct word choice
and social
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 media, to name but a few,
while
Linking Words
people
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 who are reading physical copies cannot.
People
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 can conveniently access
to
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apply
show examples
different websites or
medias
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media
show examples
 through the
internet
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 to do research about the issues happening in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
People
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 can learn more about
a news
Remove the article
news
a piece of news
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 from different perspectives, unlike the old days, when
people
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 could just rely on a few
newspapers
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 they bought to gain
understanding
Add an article
an understanding
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 of the particular thing
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that occured
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occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
.
For instance
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, Hong Kong Free Press (HKFP) only offers the online version of news
report
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reports
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.
People
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 who
are relying
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rely
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 on the
newspapers
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of
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apply
show examples
physical copies will not be able to read news from
the
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apply
show examples
independent press like HKFP. Apart from the variety of information they
could
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can
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 get, the
internet
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also
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 allows users to stay tuned to the latest
trend
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trends
show examples
. As the
internet
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 allows content creators, namely
youtubers
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YouTubers
, musicians,
music
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and music
show examples
 composers, to create and release their
lastest
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latest
show examples
 videos and
musics
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music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
 efficiently, the latest trend would be shown on the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 in lieu of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television
Use synonyms
. Under the rapid
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 of the
internet
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, the algorithm can even track users' interests so that
people
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 can view what they like from the
lastest
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latest
show examples
 content released easily, without any limits and hesitations.
For example
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,
people
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 could watch the newest movie released that they are interested in from
the
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apply
show examples
NETFLIX using the AI recommendation system. They could view the most updated content via the
internet
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. In conclusion, I agree that the usage of
newspapers
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 and
television
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Add a missing verb
has decline
show examples
decline
Replace the word
declined
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due to
Linking Words
 the rise of the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to present your ideas in a logical order and use clear paragraphs to differentiate between them. Some points could be expanded upon for greater clarity.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear overview and summary of your position, but they could be expanded to more clearly outline the main points of discussion in the essay.
supported main points
You have made a good effort to support your main points with examples. Try to integrate these examples more seamlessly into your argument and ensure they directly support your main thesis.
complete response
You have captured the essence of the question, but consider elaborating more on contrasting views to fully address the task. This offers a more rounded response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear, but they can be made more comprehensive by developing each point further. Provide more in-depth analysis or evidence where possible.
relevant specific examples
Your use of relevant examples, like HKFP and NETFLIX, is strong. Continue using specific examples to support your points. Consider varying your examples to include a wider range of sources.
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