in their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some ways. why is this ? do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Bolding unique and different aspects of products has become an inseparable part of each advertisement, demanded by manufacturers. In my opinion, there are two main reasons for
this
phenomenon and have their own bright sides and dark sides.
As for why businesses are persisting on the freshness of their commodities, it can be mentioned two reasons. Firstly
, purchasing such
state-of-the-art artefacts shows the ability of buyers, pointing their wealth by which they can feel superior to other ordinary individuals; for example
, Apple brand introduces not only the most smartphones in the world but also
the most stylish models that by buying the newest, he can flaunt his fortune. Secondly
, it is obvious that just the up-to-date merchandise can absorb people
's attention , not the old ones. It would be a bit ridiculous for obsolete stuff with old features to be sold.
A number of opponents argue that it has a prominent negative impact on people
which is called
'consumerism'. Capitalists are inducing people
in a way that will be thirsty for every fresh idea as well as
commodities by which they can obtain as much money as they can.
On the other hand
, proponents contend that humans are entitled to know about the new technological artefacts that can change their lives from good to better circumstances. One of these goods is satellite internet, erasing all limits to accessing the net.
To conclude
, in my opinion, nowadays people
are wise enough to be aware of potential dangers and can be far away from the capitalists, looking for vulnerable individuals. If you ask me whether this
emphasis on every single new aspect is acceptable or not, I will definitely say yes, by opening intact ways of living more comfortably.Submitted by amirhossein7179 on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion are present but can be more clearly demarcated from the rest of the essay.
Logical Structure
Develop logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs. Use a range of cohesive devices more effectively to help the reader follow your argument.
Supported Main Points
Expand and support your main points with detailed explanations or examples. While you've mentioned reasons and impacts, deeper analysis and more specific examples could strengthen your arguments.
Complete Response
Address the task prompt fully. You've discussed the reasons for emphasizing newness in products and its impacts, but make sure to clearly state your position regarding its positivity or negativity, providing balanced arguments for both sides.
Clear, Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify and elaborate your ideas further. Make sure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and that your examples directly support your argument.
Relevant, Specific Examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. While you mention Apple and satellite internet, more detailed scenarios or statistics could make your argument more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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