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Band 6.5

space is vast and scary .do you agree or disagree?

#space
Online sites have made it easy for the public to access information without the need to buy physical products like newspapers and books at no additional cost.
Although
 I agree with
this
 statement to some extent many factors should be taken into consideration as well.
To begin
 with, Newspapers and books are the traditional methods of reading as they were the first sources to access media coverage without any censorship.
Although
,
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 online news sites are capable of providing the same details , there are some censors.
Besides
 the censors, advertisements pop up a lot more frequently on websites as compared to already printed texts ,another flaw is that reading digitalised text requires internet connections ,which are quite expensive today
due to
 high inflation.
However
, the printed papers are still the same cost as they were in the past times.
On the other hand
, the Internet contains a large amount of information that texted notes can't provide ,on top of that people have the choice to read
according to
 their needs without buying books as they can be pretty outdated ,
whereas
 details presented on the web searches are updated at regular intervals.
Moreover
, Printing does more harm to our environment as it requires chopping wood in order to create
this
 documentation.
For Example
 in the USA ,the government have put some restriction on organizations that harms the ecosystem for their own benefit.
Therefore
 ,texted accounts can cause some severe complications ,
while
 digital media is pretty harmless and covers everyone's needs without much consequences. In conclusion, Physical texts are worse than internet-based sources in many ways ,which might put an end to
this
 traditionalist method of reading in the
coming
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future.
Submitted by sarleensekhon on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by making clear transitions between your points. Use linking words and phrases to help connect ideas smoothly and guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your main points are adequately supported with specific details and examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your response more compelling.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Expand on each point to explore it in greater depth and avoid making sweeping statements without justification.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which allows the reader to understand the main arguments and the final standpoint.
task achievement
Addresses the task effectively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online information compared to physical texts.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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