Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.

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Education
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is instrumental in shaping the future of
society
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.
While
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some suppose that the
government
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should take responsibility for free
education
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at all levels, there is another idea, which is
also
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in my favour, that studying in
universities
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should not be free. In the following essay, I attempt to investigate both views and I will
also
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express my opinion.
To begin
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with, some suppose that the
government
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should provide individuals with free
education
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from primary school to
university
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. The main benefit of free
education
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is social equality. It can be seen that there are many families who are living under the poverty line
,
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apply
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and cannot afford to pay for private schools.
Consequently
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, free
education
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gives all people the same chance to become educated and change their lives.
Secondly
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, the
government
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could become independent. The
government
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can benefit from a lot of skilled workers and professionals who have been studying and learning necessary skills freely.
Therefore
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,
society
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could be self-sufficient without any needs from other countries.
On the contrary
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, some people, which I
also
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side with, maintain that studying in
universities
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should not be free. The main reason why
university
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students should pay for their
education
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is that tertiary
education
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is unbelievably expensive. The
government
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should provide a range of facilities in
universities
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which can result in higher taxes and inflation.
Secondly
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,
education
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without any cost or expense could undermine the value of hard work. Studying at
university
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has great value in all countries, and entering a
university
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without any attempts can have a negative influence on the quality of graduates. To take Iran as an example,
thereare
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there are
a lot of free
universities
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in
this
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country, and students can start their higher
education
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easily.
As a consequence
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of
this
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phenomenon, many graduates are not able to fit into
society
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and find their dream job because they are not qualified to solve social problems. In a nutshell,
although
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some claim that
education
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should be free at all levels, others uphold that students should pay for studying in
universities
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.
Nevertheless
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, I agree with the second group as free
education
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in
universities
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can cause an economic
crises
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crisis
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in
society
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and graduates without any essential skills.
Submitted by sobi on

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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and clearly states your opinion, which is good for task response. However, to enhance your score, ensure that your opinion is consistently clear throughout the essay, not just at the end. This could involve more explicitly stating your viewpoint in the introduction and providing a summary of your reasoning in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is structured into an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. Improvements can be made by varying your linking words and phrases more to enhance the flow between ideas. Also, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to more clearly signal the main idea to the reader.
Task Achievement
To further bolster your essay, provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. While you referenced Iran as a specific example, providing additional details or statistics would make your arguments more convincing. Also, consider discussing potential solutions or compromises to address the issues you've raised, adding depth to your analysis.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal opportunities
  • financial background
  • literacy rates
  • educated workforce
  • government-funded
  • limited resources
  • academic performance
  • self-funded
  • affluent backgrounds
  • financial burden
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