Some people think the government should provide free education in all levels. Others argue that university students should pay for their education. Discuss both views.
Education
is instrumental in shaping the future of society
. While
some suppose that the government
should take responsibility for free education
at all levels, there is another idea, which is also
in my favour, that studying in universities
should not be free. In the following essay, I attempt to investigate both views and I will also
express my opinion.
To begin
with, some suppose that the government
should provide individuals with free education
from primary school to university
. The main benefit of free education
is social equality. It can be seen that there are many families who are living under the poverty line,
and cannot afford to pay for private schools. Remove the comma
apply
Consequently
, free education
gives all people the same chance to become educated and change their lives. Secondly
, the government
could become independent. The government
can benefit from a lot of skilled workers and professionals who have been studying and learning necessary skills freely. Therefore
, society
could be self-sufficient without any needs from other countries.
On the contrary
, some people, which I also
side with, maintain that studying in universities
should not be free. The main reason why university
students should pay for their education
is that tertiary education
is unbelievably expensive. The government
should provide a range of facilities in universities
which can result in higher taxes and inflation. Secondly
, education
without any cost or expense could undermine the value of hard work. Studying at university
has great value in all countries, and entering a university
without any attempts can have a negative influence on the quality of graduates. To take Iran as an example, thereare
a lot of free Correct your spelling
there are
universities
in this
country, and students can start their higher education
easily. As a consequence
of this
phenomenon, many graduates are not able to fit into society
and find their dream job because they are not qualified to solve social problems.
In a nutshell, although
some claim that education
should be free at all levels, others uphold that students should pay for studying in universities
. Nevertheless
, I agree with the second group as free education
in universities
can cause an economic crises
in Fix the agreement mistake
crisis
society
and graduates without any essential skills.Submitted by sobi
on
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and clearly states your opinion, which is good for task response. However, to enhance your score, ensure that your opinion is consistently clear throughout the essay, not just at the end. This could involve more explicitly stating your viewpoint in the introduction and providing a summary of your reasoning in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is structured into an introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. Improvements can be made by varying your linking words and phrases more to enhance the flow between ideas. Also, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to more clearly signal the main idea to the reader.
Task Achievement
To further bolster your essay, provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. While you referenced Iran as a specific example, providing additional details or statistics would make your arguments more convincing. Also, consider discussing potential solutions or compromises to address the issues you've raised, adding depth to your analysis.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example