In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

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In many countries,

people

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are living longer than ever

due to

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advancements in

healthcare

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, better living standards, and improved nutrition.

While

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some argue that an ageing

population

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creates challenges for governments, others believe it brings benefits to society. In my opinion, the disadvantages slightly outweigh the advantages. One major drawback of an ageing

population

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is the pressure it puts on public resources, especially

healthcare

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and pensions. As elderly

people

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often require more medical attention, governments must spend more on

healthcare

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infrastructure and services.

For example

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, in countries like Japan, which has one of the oldest populations in the world,

healthcare

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spending has increased significantly.

Additionally

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, the growing number of retirees means fewer

people

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are contributing to the economy through taxes, which can strain government budgets. Another issue is the impact on the workforce. A larger proportion of older

people

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can lead to a shrinking working-age

population

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, making it harder to fill jobs and maintain economic growth.

For instance

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, countries with ageing populations may face labour shortages, forcing them to rely on immigration or automation.

On the other hand

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, elderly

people

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bring wisdom, experience, and stability to society. Many older individuals continue to contribute by volunteering, mentoring, or even working part-time. They

also

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play a key role in families, often providing childcare and emotional support.

For example

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, grandparents can help working parents by looking after children, creating stronger family bonds In conclusion,

while

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an ageing

population

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offers some social benefits,

such

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as experience and family support, the economic and

healthcare

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challenges it creates are more significant. Governments must find ways to balance these challenges,

such

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as encouraging higher birth rates or extending retirement ages, to manage the effects of an ageing society effectively.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Fri Feb 23 2024

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task achievement

Expand on the discussion of potential solutions in the conclusion, such as the role of technology in supporting an ageing population, to enhance task achievement.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is well-organized, consider using more varied linking devices to improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay successfully introduces the topic, presents a clear position, and concludes effectively.

task achievement

You have supported your points with relevant examples, such as Japan's healthcare spending.

coherence cohesion

The essay is logically structured with clear and relevant arguments in each paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

282 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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