In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

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The rapid development of technology has brought us many great achievements in many fields, especially the field of health. More and more

people

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are living longer than ever before. Most

people

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currently can expect to live into their seventies and beyond. Correspondingly, high-income and middle-income

countries

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face major challenges to the ageing

population

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However

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, some argue that it has a positive effect on their society. From my point of view, I believe that the drawbacks of the ageing

population

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outweigh the benefits. On the one hand, the elderly

population

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have a wealth of experience and knowledge that not every young adult can have. To clarify

this

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, retired professors can become consultants of the startup company. Some professors in university can use books written by them for teaching. They teach the pupils an experience base not only just reading syllabus.

Moreover

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, an ageing

population

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are maintaining the traditional handicraft jobs in some

countries

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which improve and develop the economy of tourism.

Besides

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, the growth of elderly

people

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can lead to a rise in demand for healthcare services which brings about creating a number of jobs.

On the other hand

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, we must assume that

ageing

Correct article usage

the ageing

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population

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could cause three main problems for the

government

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Firstly

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, the increase in the age average might cause a rise in the

population

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in the world which makes the

government

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face

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apply

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a lack of substructures and material facilities.

Additionally

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, retirement is increased which is a financial burden to governments in their

countries

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Moreover

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, job positions become more and more limited, young adults have difficulties finding a career.

For instance

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, some

countries

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like China, and Japan have to confront the ageing

population

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issue and economic recession because lack of labour.

Accordingly

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, I suppose that the benefits do not overshadow all the problems that might come up to the

government

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. In conclusion,

although

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the ageing

population

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has had a positive impact on movements, I believe that elderly

people

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deserve to receive welfare benefits after devoting their whole lives to their country.

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, I think the

government

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need to have a subtle policy to solve

this

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issue.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Fri Feb 23 2024

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Be sure to develop your arguments with more comprehensive examples and evidence to fully satisfy the requirements of the task. While your essay touches upon relevant points, deeper exploration will enhance clarity and persuasiveness.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking phrases and make sure your paragraphs are clearly divided and organized around one main idea each. This will improve the logical flow and make your argumentation stronger.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

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Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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