Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The predominance of online platforms in our daily routines is witnessing an upward trajectory owing to technological breakthroughs and innovative advancements. An increasing number of citizens utilise internet-based social networks in order to maintain contact with those whom they hold dear or to receive
news
Use synonyms
updates. I wholeheartedly advocate that the drawbacks are negligible in comparison to the upsides
due to
Linking Words
the reasons mentioned in
this
Linking Words
essay. On the one hand, there are tremendous merits when people keep contact with loved ones or have access to the breaking
news
Use synonyms
. If individuals kept in touch with college and childhood friends,
for example
Linking Words
, they would have superior social skills
such
Linking Words
as communication know-how, a recent Harvard study revealed.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a connected lifestyle will prevent a tedious daily routine and bring about a vibrant, energetic and cherished atmosphere at home.
Similarly
Linking Words
, having instant access to
news
Use synonyms
will inform people regarding major global events and keep them up-to-date as well.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
trend will result in a much superior preparation in case of natural disasters
such
Linking Words
as blizzards or hurricanes which can save lives,
for instance
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
a spectrum of downsides to
this
Linking Words
phenomenon which can bring about pernicious effects for the individual. If citizens immerse themselves in online social media applications, they risk wasting a huge amount of precious time chatting,
for instance
Linking Words
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the invaluable lost time cannot be reversed or restored which could be
otherwise
Linking Words
potentially spent on a productive activity
such
Linking Words
as reading a book or planning for the future business initiative.
Likewise
Linking Words
, being constantly bombarded by global, political and breaking
news
Use synonyms
imposes an enormous level of anxiety on the citizens.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
news
Use synonyms
outlets nowadays are mostly covering hazardous and precarious situations
such
Linking Words
as wars
as well as
Linking Words
natural disasters,
this
Linking Words
can be exceptionally detrimental to mental health and may render life to be tremendously stressful. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
there are negative aspects to
this
Linking Words
phenomenon, they are totally manageable and
also
Linking Words
infinitesimal when compared with the immense merits it introduces.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, technological breakthroughs are changing the world for the better and no one ought to miss the boat.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured and thorough, but some sentences are overly complex. Simplifying these can enhance clarity and readability.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant and supportive, try to add more variety. This will help strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Excellent introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
Task Achievement
Relevant and specific examples used to support your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • to connect with friends and family
  • to preserve bonds
  • real-time updates
  • a wide range of perspectives
  • global happenings
  • business opportunities
  • networking opportunities
  • mental health issues
  • unrealistic portrayals of life
  • privacy breaches
  • identity theft
  • addiction
  • time management
  • productivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: