Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or a sporting event) Is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#live #performance #play #concert #event #television

There are controversial perspectives heating a debate

whether

Change preposition

about whether

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taking part in a live event can bring more sense of intrigue than watching through a TV screen. From my point of view, I would contend that each of them

have

Change the verb form

has

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their

Correct pronoun usage

its

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own advantages. Without a shadow of a doubt, seeing a vigorous performance directly is a thrilling experience, especially a soccer match since you can clearly feel the enthusiastic atmosphere from other audiences. To be more specific, by cheering or singing the national song, people can raise the spirit of competition burning through every single member. Me and my dad are football-lovers so we frequently look for the tickets of My Dinh Stadium - the most advanced pitch in my city - in order to make our experiences more alive and memorable.

Hence

, joining in a live concert makes more sense of reality and gives a dynamic mood to audiences.

While

the redeeming features of watching a performance directly are widely acknowledged, It is unfair if those of seeing online are ignored.

Besides

going to the stadium to enjoy fascinating competitions, I can easily watch them on the Internet through digital equipment

such

as smartphones or televisions from a far distance.

For example

, the UEFA

Champion

Fix the agreement mistake

Champions

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League, one of the best soccer tournaments in the world, is usually broadcast on

sporting

Correct pronoun usage

my sporting

show examples

channels of my TV, so it is quite simple for me to watch my idol - Messi playing.

Thus

, it is a more convenient way to see people's favourite events. In conclusion, not only attending a live concert but

also

enjoying it online has differently tremendous benefits.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Fri Feb 23 2024

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Consider a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to directly address the extent to which you agree or disagree. This sets a clear stance for the reader.

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Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is distinct from the others. This helps in structuring your essay more effectively for the reader.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

While providing examples, ensure they directly support your main point in the paragraph. This strengthens your argument's relevance and effectiveness.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive experience
replicated
energy
atmosphere
sense of community
shared excitement
unforgettable
predictable
convenience
comfort
crowds
travel
multiple camera angles
close-ups
replays
enhancing

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Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or a sporting event) Is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some people think robots are very important to humans' future development while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, parents prefer to teach children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling outweigh the disadvantages?