IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday? Do you agree or disagree?

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An enormous amount of the population wants to celebrate vacations in their home
country
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 rather than overseas.
This
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 essay will argue why local tourism is convenient. I endorse
this
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 idea, It is not only affordable but
also
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 provides ease of communication.
Although
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 travelling abroad gives exposure to a wide range of tourist attractions, it is expensive not everyone has the resources to opt for it.
While
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 the whole world is experiencing inflation, it is almost impossible to bear cost of the international travel.
For instance
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, if someone plans to go abroad.
First,
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a large documentation is required which even needs the services of a professional consultant,
Next,
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flights and currency exchange rates fluctuate rapidly.
Then
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, accommodation and food services available for foreigners are much more expensive as compared to natives.
Hence
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, in the light of aforementioned problems, the community will take local tourism into consideration. One other challenge for vacationing abroad would be communication. Almost every
country
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 has its own language which tourists are not familiar with.
For example
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, a strong interaction is only possible when people converse with each other. Whether it is booking a residence, travelling to a tourist spot, or purchasing something from retailers one must need to understand and communicate.
On the other hand
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, there is no hustle in talking with people
,
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apply
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 and listening to stories and thoughts behind tourist attractions when it is homeland.
Therefore
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, there is no language barrier as long as you are in your native
country
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. In conclusion, I entirely agree with the idea of travelling within the native
country
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 it is worthwhile in terms of expenses and communication.

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Introduction improvement
Your introduction briefly mentions your main points, but it could be enhanced by providing a clearer outline of the arguments you will discuss. A well-defined thesis statement at the end of your introduction can help clarify your stance and preview your main points.
Sentence Variation & Linking
Consider varying your sentence structures and using linking words more effectively to improve the flow of ideas from one sentence to another. This will enhance the logical progression of your argument and make your essay more coherent.
Developing Main Points
Your essay would benefit from deeper analysis and development of your main points. Although you provided reasons and examples, expanding these with more detailed explanations and considering counterarguments would strengthen your argument.
Conclusion Enhancement
Your conclusion summarizes your stance effectively; however, it would be more impactful by restating the main reasons for your position more clearly and suggesting implications or a call-to-action. This adds depth to your conclusion and reinforces your argument.
Address Task Fully
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. This includes not only arguing for your position but also possibly acknowledging other perspectives. Providing a comparison or contrast to other views, even if to refute them, demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
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