IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, mobile phones and the internet have become increasingly important in people’s social life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
Use synonyms
 are so significant for the social lives of
individuals
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 they have numerous benefits, in some situations it has harmful effects. Thanks to them one finds everything and communicates with others.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
, unless
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
control
Correct subject-verb agreement
controls
show examples
 using
internet
Use synonyms
 time, they might
experience
Use synonyms
 health problems.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the upsides and downsides of
this
Linking Words
 topic. On the one
hand
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 and mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have a lot of advantages. Owing to the
internet
Use synonyms
 and mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 humans find information more rapidly and easily than previously times.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the
internet
Use synonyms
,
individuals
Use synonyms
 do not need to go to the library to learn data. Another advantage is using the
internet
Use synonyms
 contributes to quick communication.
For instance
Linking Words
, people who live in foreign countries and far away families thanks to
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
, person communicate with other citizens
every
Correct determiner usage
all the
show examples
 time.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
, sometimes using the
internet
Use synonyms
 is not beneficial for humans. If
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 do not control their
internet
Use synonyms
 time, they might
experience
Use synonyms
 important health issues. Especially, eyes are so sensitive
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the body of humans.
Thus
Linking Words
. public should take
precaution
Fix the agreement mistake
precautions
show examples
 to protect their eyes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, owing to
sit
Wrong verb form
sitting
show examples
 for long hours,
individuals
Use synonyms
 might
experience
Use synonyms
 obesity or have mental issues.
For example
Linking Words
, many researchers demonstrate people who have to use computers for long hours have the rate of mental or physical problems is higher than
ones
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who have active jobs.
To sum up
Linking Words
, recently, mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 have had huge effects on the lives of
individuals
Use synonyms
. People find almost all information rapidly and communicate easily thanks to the
internet
Use synonyms
.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Use synonyms
, using the
internet
Use synonyms
 for long hours, citizens might
experience
Use synonyms
 obesity and mental issues.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Be clear and concise in your introduction. State both the advantages and disadvantages directly to guide the reader on what to expect.
Task Response
Focus on developing comprehensive ideas in each paragraph. Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs, ensuring smoother transitions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay effectively. Clearly restate your main points in the conclusion to reinforce your arguments and provide a satisfying closure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide real-life examples or statistics to support your points for stronger argumentation. This adds credibility and makes your essay more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: