Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that
competition
in a variety of daily environments has a positive effect,
while
others think that
instead
of focusing on
competition
, we should concentrate more on
cooperation
.
While
I understand the advantages of
competition
, I believe that
cooperation
should be valued more. Sometimes, we cannot ignore the importance of
competition
in people’s daily routines.
Competition
makes pupils creative, and they could grow faster; I remember when I was in middle school, many students wanted to be in the top five because their pictures would be hung at the entrance.
On the other hand
, at work, employees could challenge themselves in a competitive environment; in competitions, we could find out the difference between elite and medium workers. Despite the benefits of
competition
, I would argue that focusing on
cooperation
instead
of
competition
would be more practical. By looking at the evolution of humans, we could easily infer that
cooperation
is inherent to our nature;
therefore
, I believe fostering
cooperation
is essential.
First,
it would be a good approach to teach teamwork to the students from an early age, rather than forcing them to compete with their peers.
Secondly
, many jobs require collaboration, not
competition
,
for instance
, occupations related to computers and programming. I remember when I became a master’s student, I could create many types of applications, and solve numerous programming problems;
however
, when it came to working in a team, I had a serious problem. So, I started to learn about teamwork in engineering.
Lastly
, it is worth mentioning that many popular sports need
cooperation
.
For example
, in football.
It is clear that
the team that can cooperate more effectively will win the championship. In conclusion, I acknowledge the benefits of
competition
in our daily lives.
However
, I believe the ability to cooperate outweighs the
competition
in many aspects of our lives.
Submitted by amir1375.6 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure there's a clear distinction between your introduction and the main argument to enhance clarity. For instance, separate the introductory ideas more distinctly from your body paragraphs.
task achievement
Elaborate more on how cooperative practices can lead to wider societal benefits. This will strengthen your argument and show a deeper engagement with the topic.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents and discusses both views on the topic, making it a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-framed, providing a clear overview and a strong finishing touch to the essay.
task achievement
The use of personal anecdotes adds relatability and depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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