The most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people

In recent years,

science

has shown some significant improvements that benefit

people

's quality of life, including expanding their life span. Personally, I agree with

this

contention since there are some discoveries from various fields of

science

which have been proven beneficial for

people

lives

To begin

with, one of the inventions that should not be taken

Change preposition

for

show examples

granted is the discovery of medication,

for example

, the COVID-19 vaccine. It is known that when the pandemic hit us globally,

people

suffered so much from having various symptoms.

This

situation was quite worrying since the hospitals were not big enough to serve the overloaded patients.

In addition

, there was a lack number of medical workers,

such

as doctors and nurses. Fortunately, about one year after battling with the pandemic, the vaccine eventually emerged

although

there were a lot of victims that had fallen.

However

people

were still very grateful for the invention of the COVID-19 vaccine because it lighted up their hopes.

Subsequently

, another

science

field that has a big contribution to

people

lives

is astronomy. Actually, it is not a kind of discovery that has a direct impact on

people

lives

(

such

as health) but it is more like a contribution to better knowledge.

For instance

, as astronomic technology gets more advanced, the unravelling of outer objects becomes much easier so that the public gets to know more about outer space.

On the other hand

, the information is widely accessible if they want to learn more about the solar system. In conclusion,

science

has become one of the most important subjects to be paid attention to because its contribution to our

lives

is truly mesmerizing.

Submitted by srsdy008 on Fri May 10 2024

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task achievement

Try to enhance the linkage between your main points and the essay question to make your argument more direct and clear.

coherence cohesion

For better cohesion, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.

task achievement

Further develop your paragraphs with more detailed explanations or examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Excellent introduction and conclusion that clearly present your stance on the subject.

task achievement

Use of relevant examples, such as the COVID-19 vaccine and advancements in astronomy, effectively supports your points.

coherence cohesion

Good logical structure that makes your essay easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The most important aim of science should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The concept of success has varying interpretations. Some individuals attribute success to hard work and determination, while others emphasize factors such as wealth and physical appearance as being more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?