The bar chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly salary

The bar chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly salary
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares the allocation of
families
Use synonyms
' weekly incomes to various types of
expenditure
Use synonyms
between 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
families
Use synonyms
shifted their lion's share of outcomes from food in 1968, to leisure activities in 2018. In the baseline year,
families
Use synonyms
' food expenses constitute 35% of their
overall
Linking Words
outcome
Use synonyms
, dwarfing the other
expenditure
Use synonyms
brackets by a significant margin.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the expense for housing is only a mere 10% of the total
outcome
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
differs greatly from households in 2018 that allocated a near 20% of the
outcome
Use synonyms
only for housing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, other types of
expenditure
Use synonyms
were not significant to households in 1968, counting to less than 10 per cent of the total
outcome
Use synonyms
, each. The consumption pattern drastically changed in 2018.
Families
Use synonyms
are inclined to do various leisure activities, consuming almost 25% of their money.
Expenditure
Use synonyms
on housing
also
Linking Words
increased in 2018 to almost 20%. Other expenditures
also
Linking Words
saw changes over the year, albeit marginally.
Submitted by satimanb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words families, expenditure, outcome with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: