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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
Society
's perception of achievement varies from person to person.
While
 some find
human
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humans
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 who have a lot of cash achievement, everybody else
find
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finds
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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 who contribute to
society
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society's
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 achievement.
This
 essay will examine both these things
also
then
i
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I
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 will give my own idea.
Firstly
, many believe that financial prosperity is the ultimate measure of success.
Abone
Correct your spelling
Among
 all,
this
 viewpoint argues that high earners have succeeded in capitalizing on their skills and abilities, and
this
 financial abundance allows them to enjoy a high quality of life, including luxury travel, exclusive experiences, and the ability to provide for their families without concern.
Secondly
, others argue that feat should be measured by one's contributions to
society
 rather than by personal wealth. They point to individuals
such
 as educators, scientists, and humanitarian workers, whose work may not yield substantial financial rewards but has a lasting impact on
society
.
According to
this
 perspective, touching lives, advancing human knowledge, or addressing global challenges are far more significant markers of victory. In discussing both views, it's important to acknowledge that perceptions of success are highly subjective and can be influenced by cultural, societal, and personal values.
Furthermore
,
while
 financial success can provide comfort and security, societal contributions often carry deeper personal satisfaction and legacy. Essentially, my view is that a balanced approach, recognizing both financial stability and societal contribution, reflects a more holistic understanding of accomplishment.
Submitted by ecem.tekben on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay, strive for more diversified vocabulary and complex sentence structures. This can make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a greater command of the language.
Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. Specific anecdotes or statistical evidence can greatly strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Remember to maintain a clear and consistent viewpoint throughout your essay, especially in the conclusion. This helps in reinforcing your arguments and providing a strong personal perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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