Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In recent days, we
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
living in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
fast-paced world, where people are not connected only
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
level, they
are join
Change the verb form
are joined
show examples
at
global
Add an article
the global
a global
show examples
level. Some community members rely that rapid connectivity on the basis of economy and tradition among different regions of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
is
one
of the significant growth,
whereas
some opponents
are oppose
Change the verb form
are opposed
are opposing
show examples
of it, they consider it would be a great cause of vanishing the personal identity of
countries
that is
wrong in my assertion. In upcoming paragraphs, I intend to highlight
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both perceptions in detail. On the
one
hand, there are innumerable positive advancements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
making relationships with other
countries
due to
work and sharing cultural values.
To begin
with, it is a way we learn multiple languages and get to know about current trends
of
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in
show examples
business
. To
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
precise, by building
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
with other
countries
, we learn new
business
strategies at
extensive
Add an article
an extensive
show examples
level.
For instance
,
one
of my cousins is a well-known
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
in his country. He has
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
of flex digital printing material. He
import
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imports
show examples
his
company
Change noun form
company's
show examples
material from
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
, in
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
he knows
regarding
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about
show examples
new materials and market ups and downs. Another
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
important development is we can provide all those things to our citizens which production is not possible in our country. It
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
us self-sufficient and self-reliant. It
boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
our self-confidence and we become able to meet with
diffent
Correct your spelling
different
people of change
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
.
On the other hand
, these
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
people have started to adopt
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
socio-cultural values. In
this
reference
Add a comma
reference,
show examples
even youngsters are forgetting their traditions and following the
west
Replace the word
Western
show examples
culture
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
most of the Asian
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
common thing, which will have adverse effacts on our country even on our religion. Another
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
damaging factor which provokes
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
impact and the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
instability is
movement
Add an article
the movement
a movement
show examples
of bright students to other
countries
for doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
work or
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
in collaborative programs.
For instance
,
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
show examples
-
exchanged
Replace the word
exchange
show examples
program is
one
of the great
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
of it.
To conclude
, both concepts
Add a missing verb
are disccussed
show examples
disccussed
Correct your spelling
discussed
with examples which
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
us that enhancing healthy attachments with other
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
to flourish
business
terms and cultures have optimistic
changing
Replace the word
changes
show examples
. But
according to
others
Add a comma
others,
show examples
this
approach
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
hinges on pessimistic change between
countries
. I vehemently agree with
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
notion.
Submitted by amnamunir764 on

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Logical Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that sets the stage for your discussion. Similarly, a well-defined conclusion that summarizes your viewpoints reflects good structure.
Logical Structure
Use paragraphing effectively to separate different ideas for better readability and organization. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
Logical Structure
For a higher coherence score, enhance the usage of linking phrases and transitional words to ensure a smoother flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Address the task’s requirements fully by discussing both viewpoints and your own opinion throughout the essay. You did well on this, but make sure every part is balanced.
Task Achievement
Clarify your main points by elaborating on them more comprehensively. Making your ideas clearer can improve your score in task achievement.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific, real-life examples to support your points. This adds credibility to your arguments and makes your essay more compelling.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
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