IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below show how frequently people in US ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 2013

The chart below show how frequently people in US ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 2013
#show #people #food #restaurants
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of American
people
Use synonyms
 who ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 at restaurants from 2003 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 2003, the largest percentage of American
people
Use synonyms
 ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 once a
week
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the daily consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
 had the least popularity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in 2006, the popularity of fast
food
Use synonyms
 increased compared to 2003 in several
times
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
, once a
week
Use synonyms
, and a few
times
Use synonyms
 a year groups. It can be implied that the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who refrained from eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 in 2006 was equal to that of 2013. In 2003, most American
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 on a weekly basis with nearly 31%,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 went to fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants with 4%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 2006, the figures for fast
food
Use synonyms
 consumption several
times
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
, once a
week
Use synonyms
, and a few
times
Use synonyms
 a year were higher than in 2003 at 20%, 33%, and 15%, respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, it is worth noting that the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who were reluctant to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 in 2006 and 2013 was equal to approximately 4%.
Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, food, week, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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