IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many nations make a decision to construct specialized
facilities
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 with a view to achieving international
sports
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, in lieu of sporting equipment for everyone to utilise. I believe
this
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 is a positive development because
this
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 would ensure that the trainees can have a stable training method. On the one hand, the negative impacts of the construction of specialized
sports
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 buildings should be taken into consideration because a huge amount of money needs to be
expended
Verb problem
spent
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 on upgrading sporting equipment
due to
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 the high demand for athletics.
However
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, these
facilities
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 can only be used for practising for a short-term period because people are unable to access high-class training devices.
As a result
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, governments need to suffer a huge economic loss because of their careless investments.
For example
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, the authorities in Australia spent a vast amount of money building specialized
facilities
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 in order to have a chance to take part in the Olympics 2019, but afterwards, its government was in debt to other countries.
On the other hand
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, I believe
this
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 development can bring certain advantages. High-class training can reduce the cost of coaching significantly, as
athletes
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 normally need to travel to other developed countries in order to have appropriate training.
Therefore
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, when a nation is able to upgrade
sports
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facilities
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, it becomes more convenient and economical for
athletes
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 to pursue their passion.
For instance
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, in the past, because of the financial burden, Vietnam could only send its sportsmen to foreign nations for international
sports
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 activities. In recent years, Vietnam has planned to construct its own specialized
sports
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 centres, which would be beneficial for both
athletes
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 and the economy. In conclusion,
although
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 building specialized sporting equipment can take up a large amount of money it can help the
athletes
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 train stable and have a chance to achieve international prizes.

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Task Achievement
Expand your discussion to provide a more balanced view. While your essay touches on both sides of the argument, further development of each view would strengthen your position.
Task Achievement
Make sure to directly answer the question in your introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your opinion. This will enhance the clarity of your stance to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a higher score, work on linking your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revisit and refine your conclusion. Summarize both viewpoints briefly before clearly restating your opinion. This will ensure a strong finish to your essay and reinforce your argument.
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