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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

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People seem to be either excited or worried about the future impact of artificial
intelligence
.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
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 I can understand the two opposing points of view; I am both fascinated by developments in artificial
intelligence
 and apprehensive about its possible negative effects. On the one hand, the increasing
intelligence
 of technology should bring some obvious benefits. Machines are clearly able to do many jobs better than humans can, especially in areas that require high levels of accuracy or calculations using large amounts of data.
For example
, robots are being developed that can carry out surgical procedures with greater precision than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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human
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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, and we already have cars that use sensors and cameras to drive themselves.
Such
 technologies can improve safety by reducing the likelihood of human errors. It is easy to imagine how these developments, and many others, will steadily improve our quality of life.
On the other hand
, I share the concerns of people who believe that artificial
intelligence
 may harm us if we are not careful. In the short term, it is likely that we will see a rise in unemployment as workers in various industries are replaced by machines or software programs.
For example
, self-driving vehicles are expected to cause redundancies in driving jobs,
such
 as lorry drivers, taxi drivers and bus drivers. In the medium term, if intelligent technologies gradually take jobs away from humans, we may find that people become deskilled and lose their sense of purpose in life. A
longer term
Add a hyphen
longer-term
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 fear is that computers become so intelligent that they begin to make decisions without human oversight and without regard for our well-being. In conclusion,
while
 intelligent machines will no doubt improve our lives in many ways, the potential risks of
such
 technologies should not be ignored.
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task achievement
Be sure to include a wider range of specific examples to support your arguments. While the examples given are relevant, adding more could further strengthen your position and illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Although the essay is well-structured, smoother linking phrases could enhance the overall flow and cohesion of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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