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Band 6

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety
People
 have differing views with regard to the question of how to make transportation safer. In my view, both
punishments
 and a wide range of other measures can be used in
phalanx
Add an article
a phalanx
show examples
 to promote better driving habits. On the one hand, strict
punishments
 can effectively encourage
drivers
 to drive safely. Penalties for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dangerous driving
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 can act as a deterrent, which
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
people
 to hug the
road
 and make the traffic safer. There are various types of
punishments
, which are conducted to the
drivers
according to
 the rules that they violated, from small fines or taking driving awareness courses to license suspension and even prison sentences. The aim of these penalties is to show how dangerous
drivers
 that their
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
 have negative consequences.
As a result
, we would hope that
drivers
 become more disciplined and alert to follow the traffic rules carefully.
On the other hand
, I believe that safe driving habits can be promoted in several other ways despite punishing
drivers
.
Firstly
, it is significantly important to educate
people
 properly before they start to drive on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
, which could be done in schools or even as part of the stricter driving test.
Secondly
, there should be more attention be paid to the
road
 design.
For instance
, signs should be placed to warn
drivers
, speed bumps and
road
 bends can be added to calm traffic and the speed cameras can help to deter
people
 from speeding.
Finally
, local government or relevant councils can reduce
road
 accidents by ensuring the cars moving on routes are all roadworthy, which avoids crashes caused by malfunctions of cars. In conclusion,
while
punishments
 can effectively intervene
bad
Change preposition
in bad
show examples
drivings
Fix the agreement mistake
driving
show examples
, I believe that other
road
 safety measures should be introduced at the same time to lead to more dramatic and long-term effects on secure transportation
Submitted by 27475868 on

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task achievement
To improve your score further consider refining how you present your examples. While the examples provided do support your points, they could be more specific and detailed. For instance, discussing real-life outcomes of strict punishments or specific case studies where road safety measures have been successful would make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the complexity of your sentences and employing a wider range of linking words. This could help to improve the flow of ideas and the overall readability of your essay. Try also to vary your sentence structures to keep the reader engaged.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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