Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
Nowadays it is much easier
getting
in touch with someone who Change the verb form
to get
lives
far from us. The development of technology and implementation
of the Internet gave us the Correct article usage
the implementation
oportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
of talking
and Change preposition
to talk
seeing
others through video calls, even Wrong verb form
see
though
if they live in another country. Correct word choice
apply
However
, many discussions have been created concerning the paradox of having easeness
in our communication and the increasing numbers of isolated people because of bad usage of technology.
Many young people across the world have been facing difficulties Correct your spelling
easiness
on
their personal relationships. It has been happening even more after the advance of technology, where we can Change preposition
in
easely
get a gadget and make a phone call to friends or relatives who Correct your spelling
easily
does
not live near us. Change the verb form
do
Nonetheless
, the paradox is that these young population
are losing interest Change the determiner
populations
for
their realities. They prefer Change preposition
in
spend
time on games or Add the particle
to spend
livestream
where they have attention from Fix the agreement mistake
livestreams
unknown
. Correct article usage
the unknown
Besides
that, through social media
it is feasible to create their own realities showing just the good side of their Add a comma
media,
lives
.
On the other hand
, the possibility of talking with someone with
Change preposition
without
no
necessity Correct determiner usage
the
of writing
a letter is amazing. We can solve problems related to our job environment just by sending an email or having an appointment with a doctor who is not in the same place as us. In other Change preposition
to write
worlds
, technological features made our space "smaller" and made our Correct your spelling
words
lives
easier. Hence
, in my point of view, the poblem
is the wrong way that we make use of all these new possibilities.
Correct your spelling
problem
To conclude
, the modern ways of communication is
here to make our Correct subject-verb agreement
are
lives
even better and the wrong usage of it is our responsability
. Young Correct your spelling
responsibility
poeple
have to be aware of their own behaviour and do not forget that their Correct your spelling
people
lives
are real.Submitted by carinabmurakami on
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coherence cohesion
You have structured the essay well with a clear introduction, discussion of both viewpoints, and a conclusion. To enhance your score, ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on a single main idea and use a variety of linking words to smoothly transition between ideas and sections.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task prompt effectively, providing a balanced discussion on both viewpoints and giving your own opinion. To increase your score, provide more specific examples to support your points. Also, ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes both sides of the argument and clearly states your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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