Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Nowadays it is much easier
getting
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
in touch with someone who
lives
far from us. The development of technology and
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
show examples
of the Internet gave us the
oportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
of talking
Change preposition
to talk
show examples
and
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
others through video calls, even
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if they live in another country.
However
, many discussions have been created concerning the paradox of having
easeness
Correct your spelling
easiness
in our communication and the increasing numbers of isolated people because of bad usage of technology. Many young people across the world have been facing difficulties
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their personal relationships. It has been happening even more after the advance of technology, where we can
easely
Correct your spelling
easily
get a gadget and make a phone call to friends or relatives who
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not live near us.
Nonetheless
, the paradox is that these young
population
Change the determiner
populations
show examples
are losing interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
their realities. They prefer
spend
Add the particle
to spend
show examples
time on games or
livestream
Fix the agreement mistake
livestreams
show examples
where they have attention from
unknown
Correct article usage
the unknown
show examples
.
Besides
that, through social
media
Add a comma
media,
show examples
it is feasible to create their own realities showing just the good side of their
lives
.
On the other hand
, the possibility of talking with someone
with
Change preposition
without
show examples
no
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
necessity
of writing
Change preposition
to write
show examples
a letter is amazing. We can solve problems related to our job environment just by sending an email or having an appointment with a doctor who is not in the same place as us. In other
worlds
Correct your spelling
words
show examples
, technological features made our space "smaller" and made our
lives
easier.
Hence
, in my point of view, the
poblem
Correct your spelling
problem
is the wrong way that we make use of all these new possibilities.
To conclude
, the modern ways of communication
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
here to make our
lives
even better and the wrong usage of it is our
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
. Young
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
have to be aware of their own behaviour and do not forget that their
lives
are real.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You have structured the essay well with a clear introduction, discussion of both viewpoints, and a conclusion. To enhance your score, ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on a single main idea and use a variety of linking words to smoothly transition between ideas and sections.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task prompt effectively, providing a balanced discussion on both viewpoints and giving your own opinion. To increase your score, provide more specific examples to support your points. Also, ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes both sides of the argument and clearly states your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: