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Band 6.5

The table below gives information about Salaries of Secondry / high school teachers in five countries .

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The diagram illustrates the details of the
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 of secondary and high school
teachers
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 in five different
countries
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Overall
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, in the table Australia,Denmark,Luxembourg,Korea and Japan are given. But in all the
countries
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 the salaries are different from each other. First of all, the salary of
the
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apply
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teachers
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 in all
the
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apply
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countries
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 is at a high point, the government takes care of the
teachers
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. The first
country
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 is Australia and the starting pay is 34,600 dollars a
year
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, after 15
years
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 it will rise to 48,000.
Other
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Another
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country
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 is Denmark and it has the second most earning
country
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 a
year
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. It gives 47,000 and the max is 54,000 that you will earn after working 8
years
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.
Moreover
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, the most paid
country
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 for
teachers
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 is Luxembourg in a
year
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 80,000 given,
in addition
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 after 15
years
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 112,000 will be given. In other
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cases
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case
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case,
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 Kore is providing 30,500 to their
teachers
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 and after working 37
years
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 the salary increases to 84,500.
Linking Words
Finally
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Finally,
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 the
last
Linking Words
country
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 is Japan and has the least earning out of
five
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the five
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countries
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. In one
year
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 28,000
in
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is
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 given and after 15
years
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 49,000 is offered.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words teachers, countries, country, year, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 5 times.
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