Most people enjoy holidays and the travel and tourism is a billion dollar industry. All over the world people are traveling either for business or pleasure or both. People who can afford to or have free time go away frequently for short holidays or on weekends. Others who are working or studying try to take a holiday at least once a year, away from home and work or studies. What are the benefits of travel? Give good reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

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Many citizens like to take trips making tourism one of the largest income industries. Surrounds any state

people

Use synonyms

travel

Use synonyms

both for business and leisure. There are two types of folks, frequent travelers who have much time and rarely travelers who are so busy that they just take that in long holidays. There are some

travel

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advantages

such

Linking Words

as productivity enhancement and the regeneration of new experiences.

Firstly

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, taking time to go somewhere can increase human productivity. Scientific research states if a human rests for

travel

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thus

Linking Words

their body produces a dopamine effect which can bring happiness to them. Some

people

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who do a routine job

such

Linking Words

as a corporate job become bored with their routine and

finally

Linking Words

feel burnout since they need to

travel

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just to breathe freely.

This

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is proven by mental health enthusiasts, who state to uplift productivity humans must decrease their stress levels by balancing the chemical hormones inside the body.

Moreover

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, exploring new places can create new experiences

such

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as cultures and

people

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’s habits there.

For instance

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, many international tourists go to Bali, one of Indonesia's provinces, Bali is famous for its culture that become an attraction for many citizens. One of the cultures is the Menyama Braya concept,

this

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theory brings society to respect all racial diversity since many

people

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are so comfortable in Bali because of

this

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idea. In conclusion, both performance development and generating unforgettable moments are the convenient things that can obtained by

traveling

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travelling

show examples

. Everyone should think about the benefit of taking time to rest likely taking a short journey with the

people

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they love to make life more meaningful.

Submitted by damayanti.nsd on Wed Apr 17 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance the flow of your essay, consider varying your sentence structures more. This can add dynamism to your writing and engage the reader more effectively.

Lexical Resource

Integrating more complex vocabulary appropriately could further enrich your essay. While your language is clear and serves the purpose, higher-level vocabulary can demonstrate a greater command of the language.

Task Response

To strengthen your argument, consider discussing potential drawbacks of travel and then refuting these points or contrasting them with your main points. This can make your argument more balanced and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points effectively and reinforces your overall argument. It can be beneficial to reiterate the significance of what has been discussed in relation to the essay question.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively outlines the benefits of travel, successfully meeting the task requirements.

Task Achievement

You provided clear examples to support your points, such as the reference to Bali, which helps to solidify your argument with concrete evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, helps in the logical flow and understanding of your ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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