Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There is an argument that today
people
don’t remember the original meaning of traditional and religious festivals
. Most of
Change preposition
apply
people
celebrate them just for fun. I can’t agree with this
point of view.
That is
in the order of things that the original meanings of holidays, which were significantly important for ancestors, have no such
value today. Maslenitsa is one of the most popular traditional festivals
in Russia. The celebration is accompanied by folk dance, a lot of food, and the burning of a big doll made of straw. In old times, the goal of burning the effigy was to ensure a great harvest in the new season. However
, the progress brought more advanced and practical methods to increase the crop. Thus
, these ritual
have no sense anymore. Fix the agreement mistake
rituals
Nevertheless
, people
still remember how important Maslenitsa was in the past. They keep and follow the tradition through centuries; they love and wait for the festival every year.
Another example could be Christmas. Of which the best know is giving gifts. The roots of the tradition is
a story about Saint Nicholas. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
According to
the legend, Saint Nicholas anonymously left three bags of gold with coins near a
house of a poor family to help three young girls get married. At first sight, the tale does have no common with modern Christmas. Correct article usage
the
However
, diving into the details shows how the goodwill gesture of Saint Nicholas transformed into the tradition of exchanging gifts, good wishes and well-being. Of course, nowadays few people
remember the tale, but despite this
, the holiday has a pure connection with the past, whether we know about it or not.
In conclusion, the original meaning of traditional and religious festivals
decreases or remains in the past. Despite this
, people
often remember the historical roots of festivals
and continue to celebrate them as part of the
cultural heritage.Change the word
their
Submitted by shebanovsergey938 on
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Task Achievement
To enhance your Task Response, aim to provide a more balanced argument that explores your main assertion from multiple perspectives. This includes examining both sides of the issue, even if you ultimately favour one. To achieve this, you might consider adding a paragraph that acknowledges why people might believe festivals are solely for enjoyment nowadays, before refuting or supporting this viewpoint with further evidence or reasoning.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, strive for smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas, ensuring each paragraph flows naturally into the next. While your essay demonstrates a logical structure, enhancing transitions can improve readability and understanding. Consider phrases like 'On another note', 'Similarly', or 'Conversely' to bridge topics or sections.
General Advice
Using varied sentence structures can also improve the readability of your essay. Though your essay is well-written, incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can add rhythm and emphasis to your points, making your argument more compelling.