In some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
During
this
ever-progressing society, a debatable discussion about whether elderly people
or the younger generation
are more valuable. In this
essay, the writer believes that to adapt with
the pace of the continuous development nowadays, flexibility and creativity in younger individuals are worth more consideration than the Change preposition
to
fully-experienced
in older Correct your spelling
fully experienced
people
.
Commencing with the advantages of adolescents, the ability
to think more complex and imaginative is indisputable. It must be acknowledged that young masses are gaining wide opportunities to have early access to digital devices, where each of them possesses the potential to enhance a greater mindset to observe more sophisticated wisdom. Consequently
, the youths are more capable of becoming mature and well-prepared for the pace of society, struggling for the development of the country. In Vietnam, the proportion of parents creating opportunities for their offspring to interact with their native language is rapidly increasing, thereby can be seen many prodigies are born.
Nevertheless
, there are some oppositions to the assumption that the highly-evaluated younger generation
are
the older Change the verb form
is
people
due to
their abundant experience. Clarifying this
point, many people
assume that elderly people
gain more knowledge and experience during their timeserving, thus
their ability
to access current tasks is worth more consideration. However
, elderly people
got through the energetic period, which means their ability
to adapt to the modern pace and become persistent in working are difficult to consider. Hence
, elderly people
should be only the guidance instead
of becoming overrated.
Another point that needs to be mentioned is the offspring’s potential to cope with risks. Specifically, the young generation
is more capable of solving conflicts and avoiding issues through their well-preparation in both mental in physical health. As a result
, their success rate in becoming immune to negative external factors that can badly affect their working progress is more highly-rated
than the older Correct your spelling
highly rated
generation
. Take Japan as a prime example, where parents are turning their children to become more endured in order to avoid negative potential in the near future.
Taking all points into account, it is worth considering that despite the valuable experience in older people
, the ability
to think more flexibly and imaginable in the youths is more valuable. Hence
, this
essay has provided evidence to clarify the given opinion.Submitted by nguyenkhuyenhcmcs4k11 on
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Grammar & Accuracy
Ensure consistent and clear use of tenses throughout your essay. There are instances of tense inconsistency that can confuse readers.
Writing Style
Improve the precision and clarity of your argument by revising sentences that can be made more concise and direct. Avoid overly complex or convoluted sentence structures.
Supporting Examples
Develop your examples further to more effectively support your arguments. Providing more detailed and specific instances can enhance your essay's persuasiveness.
Task Response
Enhance the clarity of your argument by clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and by summarizing your stance in the conclusion. This helps readers understand your position from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make use of transitional phrases to better connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow and cohesion of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.