in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
People
are having a longer life in many nations. Several people
believe there are more positive aspects in the
society, whilst Correct article usage
apply
the
others argue the opposite. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay explains that the benefits such
as proving
a good quality of national Verb problem
providing
health
maintenance and having a longer productive age outweigh the drawbacks.
The number of elderly in a nation
can depict the health
quality of its country
. More people
who live longer indicate that a nation
has the capability to provide a good health
facilities to its residents. This
can be generate
by the government Wrong verb form
generated
who
promotes successfully Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
maintaining Change preposition
apply
healthy
lifestyle. Correct article usage
a healthy
Moreover
, a healthy population
has a tendency for longer productivity. A higher productivity of a population
will support the nation
's economy by the amount of income taxes that
collected by the government. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
revenue can be used to give better facilities in various areas to support the country
. For instance
, Japan has the most elderly population
in the world. This
phenomenon is definitely supported by the easy access to afford
medicines and treatments, Verb problem
apply
also
Japan has many late-age adults who can still perform productively in their work.
On the other hand
, the drawbacks of having many old population
in a country
are the burden of providing retirement funds and building more healthcare infrastructures. The government think that it is eligible to provide the elderly with retirement funding and health
facilities. Those things might be a burden for the country
's budget and might trigger some financial issues for the authorities. As an example, poor money management from a nation
can lead to an increasing national debt proportion.
In conclusion, having people
who can live longer in a country
may lead to some negative aspects of the nation
's budget such
as retirement funds and health
infrastructure funds. Despite this
, the benefits, such
as better productive age and capability
Correct article usage
the capability
in maintaining
the Change preposition
to maintain
population
's wellness clearly outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by fidya on
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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your standpoint on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This sets a more focused tone for the reader.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs further by providing more specific examples to support your arguments. The general mention of Japan is a good start, but adding details, statistics, or studies would enhance the credibility of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence. Phrases such as 'On the other hand' work well, but using a variety of transitional expressions can help the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
To improve structure, make sure each body paragraph focuses on one main idea and explore it in depth, rather than introducing multiple ideas which may not be fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Revisit how you conclude your essay; restate your main points succinctly and reinforce your stance on the topic without introducing new information.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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