In some parts of the world, people have become more focused on themselves than their communities. What problems can this situation cause and how can they be solved?

Nowadays, individuals in some countries are only interested in their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of them
has
Verb problem
are
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indifference
Replace the word
indifferent
show examples
to
others
within their society. In
this
case, busy
life
and
development
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the development
show examples
of digital
life
are the noticeable reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
issues.
This
essay will indicate the causes and the
approchs
Correct your spelling
approaches
to
overcome
Wrong verb form
overcoming
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individualism.
To begin
with, it is widely believed that
people
tend to
work
harder in contemporary society than before. Many countries accept capitalism as the social policy and
this
establishment makes
people
spend more
time
in
work place
Correct your spelling
the workplace
show examples
to earn higher
salary
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salaries
show examples
.
As a result
, individuals have become
indifference
Replace the word
indifferent
show examples
to
others
.
However
,
people
can interact with their
colleages
Correct your spelling
colleagues
and family by reducing their daily
work
hours
for making
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to make
show examples
time
to talk.
For example
, in South Korea, there is a
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
about working hours. In
this
paper,
people
used to communicate with
others
after their jobs. Another
reasons
Replace the adjective
reason
show examples
for individualism is
increasing
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the increasing
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
of mobile phones. Many
people
recently connect
each
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with each
show examples
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
by using
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
without face-to-face
meeting
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meetings
show examples
.
In addition
,
people
always carry their
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
show examples
with them and spend more
time
in the artificial world rather than
reality
Change preposition
in reality
show examples
. It means that they do not need to make an appointment
to
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with
show examples
their friends and peers out of their
work
time
. To tackle
this
issue, they have to try not to use the electronics and spend
time
with their family and
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
in real
life
. They can overcome individualism by avoiding an online place. In conclusion, longer working hours and mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
are the biggest factors in creating
individualistic
Add an article
an individualistic
show examples
social atmosphere. These problems can be tackled by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and efforts among individuals.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health issues
  • Community participation
  • Social cohesion
  • Civic pride
  • Volunteerism
  • Charitable contributions
  • Collective responsibility
  • Cultural heritage
  • Educational campaigns
  • Collective action
  • Tax deductions
  • Recognition programs
  • Mentorship
  • Community leadership
  • Intergenerational interactions
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