Some people think that they should spend money they earn now enjoying life, while others think that the money should be put into savings for future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, people have various perspectives about their income. A group of them think that they have to spend it on activities or items that they like;

Whereas

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, others believe that they have to save for the future. In my personal view, both beliefs are crucial for following lives, but communities have to find their optimum point based on their situations. On the one hand, when populations spend their whole salaries on the element that they like, their experience of everything is enhanced. In fact,

this

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fashion creates a chance for them to know which activities refresh their energy and how they have to behave in various situations.

In addition

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, these people can provide an opportunity that have a work-life balance.

For example

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, they buy new gadgets like dishwashers, and so on.

On the other hand

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, when communities save their money for the future, they won't have financial strain.

In other words

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, people do not have income for their whole lifetimes inasmuch as in elderly time they do not have the same energy as when they were young and in the old times, they have several health issues,

such

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as heart attacks, blood pressure, and so forth.

Consequently

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, it is essential that individuals save money for their retirement. To summarise, in my opinion, both perspectives are true because of the range of experiences that aid them in controlling their manner in various positions and creating a comfortable life for themselves.

However

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, saving money is the main factor that guarantees financial security for the elderly time.

To conclude

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, in my opinion, the population has to learn how they can enjoy now and the future and make a good schedule for themselves.

maryamkazemi968Tue Feb 04 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and provides a clear statement of your opinion. Consider phrasing it more firmly to emphasize the importance of both views.

coherence and cohesion

Avoid using the word 'whereas' at the beginning of a sentence. Instead, use 'On the other hand' or restructure the sentence for clarity.

task achievement

Provide more concrete examples to support your main points, particularly in the first body paragraph, where specific instances of enjoyable activities could enhance the argument.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the transition between the ideas in your paragraphs to maintain a logical flow. Using linking words and phrases can aid clarity and cohesion.

content

You present both views well and provide a balanced discussion, which is crucial for this type of essay.

content

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and reinforces the need for balance between spending and saving.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial management
immediate gratification
experiences
memories
work-life balance
financial security
stability
unexpected emergencies
long-term goals
aspirations
personal preference
priorities
balanced financial plan

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