You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
#minutes #countries #world #challenges #environment #population #education #country #face #ten #years
If you ask any
Kazakhstan
citizen what problems can Kazakhstan
face in ten years in their opinion, i
think 90% of them will answer that Change the capitalization
I
Kazakhstan
will have air pollution problems. It’s
very
obvious and disappointing fact but Correct article usage
a very
it’s
true. If you go up to Medeo you can clearly see the difference between pure sky and smog. The reason of
air pollution is Change preposition
for
increasing
quantity of fabrics and cars. If Correct article usage
the increasing
quantity
of cars increases, there will be more Add an article
the quantity
traffics
. If there is a Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
lot
of traffics
, they are going to build more roads to solve the Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
traffics
problem. If they build more roads, people will continue to buy cars and pollute the air. Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
It’s
called red queen syndrome. It’s
when the solution
is not really solution
, it makes Add an article
a solution
the solution
worse
. The best Correct pronoun usage
it worse
solution
of
Change preposition
to
this
problem would be Add an article
a subway
subway
or something like LRT in Astana, which was not finished yet but Capitalize word
Subway
it
is another story. It would be Correct pronoun usage
apply
great
Add an article
a great
solution
because in Almaty we have a lot
of traffics
and only one line of subway.
Speaking about Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
education
in Kazakhstan
, it is developing. But I’m not telling
about Verb problem
talking
university
education
. We have a lot
of great courses which most of the time give you wonderful results and experience. But if we speaking
about Wrong verb form
speak
university
education
, to be honest
it started to be unnecessary unless you work in some government places. A Add the comma(s)
honest,
lot
students
started work Change preposition
of students
while
studying in the university
. And they got much experience at work rather than in the university
. I think in ten years there will be 2 options. Most young people will not go study
in the universities
, they will study
some courses in better case. In the worst case
they will Add a comma
case,
study
abroad which badly influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
on
Change preposition
apply
Kazakhstan
economy. Because they will bring the money out of Change noun form
Kazakhstan's
Kazakhstan
. The
good Correct article usage
A
solution
would be the
government to pay attention to Change preposition
for the
university
studying process. At least it would be great to make Correct article usage
the university
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
education
cheaper or more available for residents. Because when
parents are looking for the Correct word choice
When
universities
for their children to study
in, they are choosing between universities
in Kazakhstan
and universities
abroad. University
abroad is much better and effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
with
the same price.
But let’s see. I hope my thoughts about Change preposition
at
education
and environment
are wrong and they will be better in 10 yearsCorrect article usage
the environment
Submitted by tomka.madka on
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coherence cohesion
It's clear you understand the topic well and have thought deeply about the problems facing Kazakhstan, particularly in terms of air pollution and education. To improve coherence and cohesion, consider creating a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss, and a conclusion that summarizes your arguments and suggests forward-looking solutions. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, you've addressed the prompt by identifying significant future challenges and offering potential solutions. However, providing a more diverse range of problems and solutions, along with detailed examples to support your propositions, would strengthen your argument. Additionally, consider discussing how these challenges could be interconnected to present a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
To further improve your grade, pay attention to paragraph structuring. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea, supported by examples or evidence, and transition smoothly to the next. This clarity and organization will not only make your essay more persuasive but also easier for the reader to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.