In the future all cars, bosses and tracks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside this vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh disadvantages?

With the advancement of technology,
cars
are going to be totally automated,
hence
there is no need for
drivers
any more. I believe that it has both advantages and disadvantages,
however
, its advantages outweigh its drawbacks.
Driverless
cars
are completely automated, and they work with artificial
inteligence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
.
Hence
, they can
besafer
Correct your spelling
be safer
be safe
,and more reliable compared to
cars
that are driven by humans, and there is not a chance for human
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
with
driverless
cars
.
For example
, individuals may get exhausted
while
driving long distances, so there is a
possible
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possibility
show examples
that they fall
sleep
Correct your spelling
asleep
show examples
which can lead to horrible accidents.
In addition
, there are many
people
who do not obey all the regulations, they may drive at high speed or
over take
Correct your spelling
overtake
show examples
illegally, which has many
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
,
while
,
driverless
cars
are supposed to do whatever they
orderd
Correct your spelling
order
, so they do not commit
shuch
Correct your spelling
such
crimes.
However
, promoting
driverless
cars
leads to
Correct article usage
the unemolyment
show examples
unemolyment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
of many
people
. A large number of
citizents
Correct your spelling
citizens
who are
drivers
lost their jobs,
for example
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents may prefer a
driverless
car for transporting their children to school,
hence
, there is no more need for school service
drivers
.
Furthur
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Further
show examples
more, driving is a hobby for some
people
, and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
them in self-assurance. Especially, youngsters are more into driving and feel more
self-confidence
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self-confident
show examples
while
driving.
SO
Correct your spelling
So
show examples
, when automated
cars
conquer
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the world
people
do not have a chance to enjoy
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
driving. In conclusion, it is true that with the spread of automated
cars
, many
drivers
lost their jobs and need to find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
, and
people
can not drive as a hobby. But,
driverless
cars
are more reliable and we can
sure
Add a missing verb
be sure
show examples
that they do not commit a crime ,so, they provide more safety in transportation.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. It's important to directly answer the essay question early to guide your reader.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples or evidence. While you’ve provided some examples, further elaboration would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve the readability and flow of your essay. This will also help in making your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with spelling and grammar accuracy ('besafer' should be 'be safer,' 'unemolyment' should be 'unemployment'). Errors can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
For cohesion, use transitional phrases to better connect your paragraphs and sentences. This enhances the logical flow of your essay, making your argument more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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