New coverage about violent crime frightens people and encourages criminals. Therefore, some people believe this type of news should not be reported in newspapers or shown on TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that nowadays,
news
increasingly contains horrible
crimes
that might negatively affect citizens
as well as
encourage offenders to commit
crimes
.
While
I understand the concerns of those who argue against broadcasting
such
news
, I believe that reporting
such
offensive stories has far more benefits. There are two main reasons why it is considered that TV, Radio, and newspapers report
news
about barbaric
crimes
that might have negative effects. Crime
news
can easily scare
people
due to
its vivid and shocking nature, leading to an increase in the level of stress and reducing the sense of safety in society.
Furthermore
, they may create first-time offenders, and
also
teach petty
criminals
new ways of offending. The expense of
such
news
, which is paid by taxpayers, could inadvertently serve as a tutorial for
criminals
and lead them to refine their criminal skills and become professionals in criminology.
Therefore
, telling
such
stories could make
people
hesitate about the intention of crime-related media, raising the question of whether media are using it to attract new audiences or improve the standard of residents' lives by enhancing society's safety.
However
, spreading a vicious crime story among
people
could be more beneficial. Considering the punishments
criminals
would undergo, these stories could deter petty
criminals
.
For example
, reading about a group of
people
involved in an armed robbery who were
subsequently
caught can act as a deterrent.
Similarly
, the reports on the punishment of those accused of sexual harassment may discourage others from committing more heinous
crimes
such
as brutal murder and savage rape. What's more, it can raise the awareness of individuals, teaching them how to resist dangerous situations and
also
how to behave when facing
criminals
. In conclusion,
although
reporting horrible
crimes
can have negative effects, in my opinion, its merits compensate for the drawbacks.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, for an improved score, enhance the distinctiveness of your introduction and conclusion by providing a sharper thesis statement and a more compelling final summary.
Support for Main Points
Your main points are supported with details and examples, but integrating more varied and specific examples can further strengthen your argument and increase the persuasiveness of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have maintained coherence throughout the essay by logically organizing your ideas. To further enhance cohesion, consider varying your transitional phrases more and ensuring each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next.
Task Achievement
You've done a commendable job of fully addressing the essay prompt, presenting comprehensive ideas and arguments. For an even higher score, strive to develop your ideas more thoroughly and ensure that all aspects of the task are equally covered.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: