some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys

#parents #children #toys #play\

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Many kids' mummies purchase to them

a huge

Correct the article-noun agreement

huge toys

a huge toy

show examples

toys

Use synonyms

Change preposition

for

show examples

entertainment.

This

Linking Words

essay Will examine the advantages and disadvantages of games and provide a logical conclusion. The main positive ideas of

Use synonyms

children'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

gifts are saving them from the bad things and making them cheerful.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if

children

Use synonyms

are busy

Change preposition

with

show examples

theirs

Correct the word

their

show examples

toys

Use synonyms

that will lead them to avoid dangerous ways .

For instance

Linking Words

, these days the

worse

Correct word choice

worst

show examples

ideas could be acquired easily either by access to unsafely sites or contact with poor friends.

In addition

Linking Words

, the second benefit is that

toys

Use synonyms

make

children

Use synonyms

happy which means simply

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can avoid

stressing

Replace the word

stress

show examples

and other mental diseases.

However

Linking Words

, youthful'

toys

Use synonyms

have a lot of pros

such

Linking Words

wasted

Replace the word

wasting

show examples

Use synonyms

children'

Change noun form

children's

show examples

time and

isolated

Wrong verb form

isolating

show examples

them from their society. What is more, rather than spend their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reading or learning new things like another language, kids

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing. Without any doubt, that will make them silly

in addition

Linking Words

reduce

Change the verb form

reducing

show examples

their

mental'

Correct your spelling

mental

show examples

abilities.

Besides

Linking Words

, kids who are

going

Verb problem

spending

show examples

whole their

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing ought to be unsolicited.

For instance

Linking Words

, nowadays, the real contact between individuals is fewer

in contrast

Linking Words

to the situation in the past.

To sum up

Linking Words

as well as

Linking Words

toys

Use synonyms

save pupils

from

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unknown ways

also

Linking Words

lead them to waste their time

Change preposition

show examples

invaluable issues. I believe that the disadvantages of the

toys

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweigh the advantages.

Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on Wed Feb 28 2024

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Structure

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state the topic and outline the points you will discuss. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.

Development of Ideas

Work on developing your ideas more fully in the body paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by detailed examples or reasons. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.

Grammar and Vocabulary

Be wary of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Consider practicing sentence structure and the use of conjunctions to improve the flow of your essay.

Examples and Evidence

Remember to provide more concrete examples to support your arguments. Specific examples make your essay more convincing and engaging for the reader.

Clarity

To improve clarity, try not to use phrases like 'the main positive ideas' or 'a lot of pros'. Instead, be specific about what advantages or disadvantages you're discussing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

228 words

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some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys

Word Count

You recently stayed at a hotel for a conference with your company and there were several problems with your room. Write to the hotel management to complain. Include : &Where you stayed. & What the problems were. & How they can fix your complaints.

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to information in many countries. This is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some think that politicians should always be honest while others feel that there are times when they must lie. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.