some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play\ with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the children of having a large number of toys

Many kids' mummies purchase to them
a huge
Correct the article-noun agreement
huge toys
a huge toy
show examples
toys
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
entertainment.
This
essay Will examine the advantages and disadvantages of games and provide a logical conclusion. The main positive ideas of
children'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
gifts are saving them from the bad things and making them cheerful.
Moreover
, if
children
are busy
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
toys
that will lead them to avoid dangerous ways .
For instance
, these days the
worse
Correct word choice
worst
show examples
ideas could be acquired easily either by access to unsafely sites or contact with poor friends.
In addition
, the second benefit is that
toys
make
children
happy which means simply
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can avoid
stressing
Replace the word
stress
show examples
and other mental diseases.
However
, youthful'
toys
have a lot of pros
such
as
wasted
Replace the word
wasting
show examples
children'
Change noun form
children's
show examples
time and
isolated
Wrong verb form
isolating
show examples
them from their society. What is more, rather than spend their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading or learning new things like another language, kids
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing. Without any doubt, that will make them silly
in addition
to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
their
mental'
Correct your spelling
mental
show examples
abilities.
Besides
, kids who are
going
Verb problem
spending
show examples
whole their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing ought to be unsolicited.
For instance
, nowadays, the real contact between individuals is fewer
in contrast
to the situation in the past.
To sum up
,
as well as
toys
save pupils
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unknown ways
also
lead them to waste their time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
invaluable issues. I believe that the disadvantages of the
toys
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction should clearly state the topic and outline the points you will discuss. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
Development of Ideas
Work on developing your ideas more fully in the body paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by detailed examples or reasons. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Be wary of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Consider practicing sentence structure and the use of conjunctions to improve the flow of your essay.
Examples and Evidence
Remember to provide more concrete examples to support your arguments. Specific examples make your essay more convincing and engaging for the reader.
Clarity
To improve clarity, try not to use phrases like 'the main positive ideas' or 'a lot of pros'. Instead, be specific about what advantages or disadvantages you're discussing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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